A Spattering

Friends are important. I like the idea of spending time with them.
We had our very first dinner party last night and it was absolutely wonderful... laughter and delightful foods were enjoyed by all (I think)(at least by me a lot).

Success, by any definition is hard to find. Ralph's definition is particularly difficult. Must we all post it on our fridge?
To laugh much; to win respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived--this is to have succeeded."

I'm scared of not succeeding.

In order to fight against the "but I'm too tired to run" thing I've been doing for the past month, I brought my running clothes to work and I'm just going to run home with my phone in one hand and my keys in the other. Woo!

It's going to DOWNPOUR on the way home. I'm banking on it being cleansing.



Songs like this make me cry.

The Sound of Thunder

Last night I came home from work with a strange sense of restless energy. I talked Amy's and Nick's ears off, obviously improving their nights with silliness involving cuddling, condoms, story time, and the Flight of the Concords. Eventually I let them be and went upstairs to attempt to fall asleep. It took quite the while and so I should have re-awoken and wrote my list of thanks, but I was determined to fall asleep... so here it is now:


I am going to have a pen pal!
My roommate's awesome dedication to Model UN
The AMAZING downpours I walked in... soaked to the skin, but happy
Finally catching up with Schae-schae a bit. I miss my best friend.
The women in career services who helped me realize that all the decisions I have to make are really just a million great opportunities.
Julie. It's rare to find such wonderful friends who really understand you, but I guess I'm just really, really blessed.
Walking back from the Knick with Radha :)
My Senior Seminar class listening to my stories and supporting each other. Sometimes it takes four years to realize half the rest of the world feels just as out of place as you. Hopefully this will help me to remember to open up at the right times in the future. There are so many wonderful people out there.
Avery and her "ghetto girl strut", the baby Jalicious, and soul music
Nick and Amy laughing with me
New running shoes
Taking off wet socks
Doing my best to be okay.

If all the raindrops... (weren't silver dollars)

In the movie we were watching there was a man entering a mansion and one of the men standing by the door walked over to the man's car and put the umbrella out. The man would not have to get wet in the rain in the couple feet it took him to get from the car to the front door. The guy I was watching the movie with told me that some day he wants to be rich enough to have that happen to him. I knew I didn't feel the same, but I couldn't totally articulate what I was feeling. Today I was thinking about this moment and it occurred to me, I never need to be rich enough for that, I hope I am always free enough to leave my house to dance in the rain. And I pray I am always rich enough to have warm clothes to put on after my dance or perhaps the warm body of someone I love to cuddle with.

I do not like umbrellas. I like sitting in meetings wet even less so I own one, but I like to acknowledge the rain as the beautiful reality it is. When the rain is warm it is so cleansing I know my soul is real and honest again. I am washed over with the sense that I am real and I am here.

Of course... sometimes umbrellas are wonderful...

ps. People in ponchos make me giggle. I think people in love standing in ponchos are extra awesome.