Sharing Thought Bubbles

I read this bit that I wrote about being so happy last May and how my "newest favorite conversationalist" made me "feel validated". It's strange because I always know what's going to happen next (my June journal self knew too), but I never find the thing to do to stop the other shoe from dropping. What's that word for when something happens only because you feel it'll happen? Maybe it's that... maybe it's not.

Forget the shoes, I'd prefer to be barefoot.


And to be alone* is breathing solo,
An exhale without an in,
A deflated heart and an empty hand-

///

For you, I'd stay.
For me, you left.







*alone meaning lonely

A Vision of Seeing Things Straight [Light]

Apparently my dream already exists, but I didn't know about it when I was in New York. I suppose it is just one more reason to return now.

I also find it so interesting that it is called "The Moth" considering the piece I wrote 3 years ago called "The Moth". It was three years ago and as much as I know now, I knew something of great importance and sadness back then.


"It was a great mistake, my being born a man. I would have been much more successful as a sea gull or a fish. As it is, I will always be a stranger who never feels at home, who does not really want and is not really wanted, who can never belong"
-Eugene O'Neill

I hope Eugene changed his mind. Three years ago I said that was me too, but thinking about it a little more seriously, I do not believe I'd be a very good sea gull or fish. I wouldn't mind trying to be a dragon fly for awhile though. I might be good at that.





Today was incredibly productive.
I am thankful my legs let me do another four mile run today in my shoes which my parents bought me this past weekend.
I am thankful my mind got a bit a reprieve when I stopped midrun to walk by the water and then swing for awhile.
I am thankful that on the way to the swingset I stepped in wet ground so I could remember what spring meant and feel the funny mush in my shoes. It's not my favorite feeling, but I appreciate the memories it brings.
I am grateful for a productive meeting about lighting for Behind the Uniform. The design may take some work, but I have a good feeling about it.
I am thankful for the quietness of the third floor of the library and how many wonderful resources are at my fingertips for research.
I loved today's weather of slightly overcast high 40s uncertainty.
I am relieved by my doctor's appointment and the general encouragement by the people there.
I am thankful for my parents. They are awesome.

And I am extra thankful today for Amy who makes delicious chicken pockets and rice and shares them. I was ignoring real meals today for the sake of productivity and in order to write this 6 page paper I am about to start, I needed some deliciousness in my tummy.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.