Contrary

My friend, Aaron told me he thought I might like this song:



He's right, but it sort of sounds like heart break.
We had a brief discussion about "letting it go". Letting go of things isn't in the top 10 of my best skills, but I don't really want (to need) any more practice. It's similar to patience in that way.

I used to claim that I didn't believe in time, but if I do, it's for the sake of comfort. It is what is promising us that we're all experiencing the same amount of something. We may feel different than the people next to us and different than we did last hour, but it's just an hour and the next hour will come around in the same amount time.

While I don't believe time heals all wounds, I believe that the right actions over time will. Nothing but infinity lasts forever. This knowledge may not help me set my things down, but I know that in time, they may disappear anyways.

Bright Eyes once told me:
"I let my troubles solve themselves. I used to get involved but I'm just no help"

I like to get involved because I want to be "a part of things," but I know it's a bit in vain. Most of my problems solve themselves better when I stay out of them, and the luggage I'm carrying only leaves on its own accord.

I cut my hair, partly because I needed it gone. I miss my long hair and am letting it grow, but I still want to experiment with other short hair cuts. I'm divided because hair takes a long time to grow and sometimes you don't want to let it go. Sometimes you just want it back.




Contrary to this song and this entry I am feeling a.okay. I have had catch-up conversations with two wonderful friends the past two nights and there is so much excitement in the near future! Yeah, I'm in a good place. Thank you <3

ps. On a completely separate note, I love this woman and I'm totally guilty of this.

Just Dreaming

Confession:

Sometimes when I feel a little extra tired or unable to sleep I listen 70s soul, The Ohio Players, Isley Brothers, Al Green, Earth Wind & Fire, Luther Vandross, Marvin Gaye... to remind me that there's love and depth the the world. Mph.

Un, Dis, Can't

I don't want to become a cynic.

The moth three years later

I thought I had been watching how high I was climbing, but I suppose I misjudged. My weight hadn't changed much and gravity is a constant, but when I fell the equal and opposite force was far greater than I imagined it would be. I had avoided the mountains for quite a while, choosing to stroll upon low hills with slight possibilities. But, you were more and so I ignored your words of warning and pleaded with you to come with me. I was tired of the ground and wanted to enjoy more with you. You could not have given me enough reasons to avoid the beautiful rush and the view. I didn't realize how far I'd wandered and how bruised my knees would be when the scene was over.