Crepes, puddles, fake sun, and Andy Griffith

Do you ever feel like you are radiating? It is as if you are like the sun except that your internal explosions are even better than nuclear fusion. I haven't been writing as often lately. I do a lot of reflecting for my senior seminar, but in actual reality I don't take the time to write any of it down. I wish there was a way to simply save all that I was thinking then for later, but my loud mind will just keeping pushing new [or repeated] thoughts to the front of the line.

Kenzie and I went puddle-jumping this afternoon for almost forty minutes. Amy and I made crepes [my first time!] this morning. Sure, there is a lot to do. Yes, it's my last week of classes, but I find it best for me to just continue on "as normal". Normal meaning spending as much time doing wonderful things with fabulous people as possible. Jackie and I will hang out in a little bit and then I will spend the rest of the night [minus the meeting(s)] completing all of those to-do lists.

One thing I really enjoy about Holland is how beautiful it is! There are plenty of beautiful towns around the US and around the world, but I've become particularly fond of this one. I have now gone on two quality [8-12 mile] bike rides in the past week and I have been overwhelmed with the amount of beauty I have encountered. It even feels differently than when I run similar routes. I have two weeks left in this town and there are a couple things I would really like to do before leaving:

Visit tunnel park
Spend more time outside
Run at the place with the funky trees
Go to the beach and The Bowl [if it ever gets warm enough]
Find more exciting things to see on our road trip immediately following graduation. [Here's some information I found on Idaho]
Okay, well... it's a list in progress



I feel sort of obligated to get nostalgic these days. I know that pictures rarely show the yuckier parts of life, but even with those less favorable parts, my life has been pretty wonderful for the past three, three and a half years.
I have my phone set so the news comes up on the main screen. Every time I go to check the time I get the headlines. I have never been so in tune with every tornado, tax reform, or Islamic concern about South Park. If nothing else, I am just reminded daily that loss is inevitable, but there is always beauty too... The Ying and the Yang... Apollo and Dionysos. There is balance and it is infinite.

There are friends to find and people to love. Now I must do my best to live in the active presence and fight the battle against (all kinds of) loneliness.

Confession

Confession: I am really excited for the completion of the reconstruction of Graves Hall. It is an older building on Hope College's campus and has been under construction for about a year now. I had one terrible class in the dull building during my freshman year. However, I have many great memories of Graves Hall as well. It provides many great doorways to hide in while playing Assassins with the Cross Country team. I have also sat on the benches outside many times, including one time with Tim which ended a great Sunday together.

Why I am most thankful for Graves, however, goes back to the Fall of my freshman year. The first semester of my freshman year was a very rough time in my life. One day, after my freshman year seminar, a girl in my class, Grace, if I remember correctly, asked if she could pray with me. I, of course said yes, really needing that prayer that day. I can't quite remember how exactly the rest of the events played out. We were standing in between the library and the science center, almost crossing the road when she asked. I can't remember if we prayed there and then went into Graves together or if I went by myself or-- Actually, what I think happened was she asked if we could go into Graves to pray. I said sure and she led me to the basement of Graves where there was a room, about half the size of a classroom that had a small alter in the front and little pews. We prayed there in front of the alter and then I said I was going to sit for awhile. She said alright and left. I sat for quite a while. I looked around and found a Bible and then some song books. I flipped through them. I started to look at more things on this bookshelf and then notebooks on a table. All these notebooks were filled with prayers. Some were very recent while some of the notebooks were much older. They weren't printed prayers, but rather people's, most likely students' personal prayers. I read many of them and then added my own, praying it up and writing it down.
In that prayer I included the- then secret, still a secret to some- thing that was weighing me down. I needed relief. I need more air.
Obviously writing my prayer didn't instantly cure what was troubling my heart, but it was a step in the right direction. I haven't returned to that room often since, but knowing it is there has been a sense of comfort to me ever since. I hope they keep that room after their refurnishing of Graves Hall, but I suppose I will find out in Spring 2010. If not, perhaps I will just have to restart another room like it elsewhere...

After all, it is good to know you are not alone. Not only is there God, but there are others whom He has put here to comfort to you.
Thank you to them. Thank you to Him. And thank you to Grace for reminding me of what was there all along.