SarCare

SARCARE It’s been a good 6 months since I’ve posted. That break was the right decision at the time, but too many of my mental bits are going to people who don’t “get” it, so here I am. I tried to create other blogs with more focused topics, but alas, why? For now, I’m focusing on tracking my SarCare.

SarCare is the name I came up with yesterday for my intentional self-improvement. I’ve finally moved towards a full-on renovation by 3 recent events/factors:

1. My constant desire to run and/or create and not having time to do either
2. A Friday night, a couple of weekends ago when I (while on a date) was so short of sleep I began crying because I just couldn’t listen or do anything until I was laying in bed. I was 3 feet from a bed at the time.
3. Body image. My body doesn’t feel good and I’ve been knowingly not taking care of it for too long. It’s beginning to show physically and I don’t want that to continue.


I have a lot of areas I want to improve in my life, but SarCare involves a few specific ones to start off with:

1. The Sleep Initiative. Sleep 7-8 hours a night. Yes, I’ve survived and even thrived on less, but since I can’t seem to find a middle ground, 7-8 is the new goal during the workweek. 6 will happen, but can’t be the normal as it allows too easily for a 4 hour night.

2. Operation Vegetable. Increase my vegetable intake. I do okay with fruits, but they’re higher in sugar than vegetables and there’s no reason to keep ignoring it… grown-ups need vegetables. For the first two weeks of SarCare Operation Vegetable also includes a 2-week* removal of the following: coffee, chocolate, ice cream & candy. Alcohol will be limited to one day/week. That’s not really a change for the alcohol, but just a reminder 1x/week.

*exception made for dates if the gentleman offers. I’m determined to not be ‘that girl
< 3. The Friends & Family Plan. A continued effort to reach out to friends and family. Exact details of this plan are still in the works. One major adventure will be a Memorial Day weekend trip home to see my Grandparents, Parents & Ohio friends.

4. Long-term Sustainability. Progress on my to-do list to reach the next step professionally. I’ll keep most actionable tasks (except for books I read) quiet as I don’t like to build up anyone else’s expectations for my career. That said the fields include lighting design & arts programming. If you have access to continued opportunities, let me know!

5. Not Just Any Body. I will give myself time to run and lift. I’ve come up with a couple simple exercises I do each night before bed. They’re complete in less than 2 songs, but keep my physical state alive because sitting in an office chair tires you in the lamest of ways. They’ll be the new base.


Today is Day 2 without chocolate, ice cream, candy or coffee. I realize that might not sound like much to most of you, but I normally consume at least one of those every day. Yeah, a little much, but New York seems to have every flavor of chocolate and when you stumble upon lavender dark chocolate, it can be tough to resist. But, resist I will! Wish me luck.

I was supposed to run today, but took an extra shift at work instead. I’m going to be gone for 5 days so I think financially it was a necessary choice. It’ll either be a night run or a really great, much needed workout on Saturday.

Listening to: “Finally Moving” – Pretty Lights

You Can Do It [put your - into it]

I did it.  My goal for this week was to abandon time and distance expectations [as usual] and run three times this week.   Baby steps back to those 50+ mile weeks. So, Tuesday, Thursday and today [Saturday] I arranged my days so I could run.  Were my days a little more rushed? Yes.  Did the chaos of the days limit the time of my runs? Kind of.  But, today ended the week with a semi-quality 5 miler... so I'm not complaining.  Starting from Leonard Street and slowly making my way back to E. Harlem helped keep my interest.  Variety's important in every aspect of life: running, shampooing, loving, theatring etc. It takes more than a chip clip to keep those things from getting stale.

Another blog inadvertantly about Insecurities

I will have you all know that I made some delicious mint chocolate chip fudge with the correct milk the day after the disaster. My housemates (we are each other's best taste-testers) agreed that I redeemed myself and thoroughly enjoyed a portion of the pan. So, buckeyes and fudge will be taken to the Cookie Exchange tomorrow... here's to hoping no one notices, or at least minds, that they aren't cookies!

CONFESSION: I didn't make cookies for two reasons.

1. I can only think of maaaybe one or two times I've frosted sugar cookies without The Dodge's and it was not nearly as fun.

2. I was/am afraid mine wouldn't be as good as everyone else's. I know, I know, that's pathetic, but I didn't want my cookies to be the last ones on the plate. I'd rather be picked last in kickball. Okay, that wouldn't happen... baseball! I know I'm terrible at baseball, but I like to pretend I'm a good baker. I just don't have that "go to" cookie recipe that half of the rest of the world's bakers seem to have and thus I reverted back to things I know I wouldn't turn down: buckeyes and fudge. If this wasn't an exchange I probably would've even made puppy chow. I just want to be liked.




In other news, I did pilates and abs today and ran four miles on Friday. I had sorta, kinda promised myself that I was going to start to remove the topic of weight/lack of exercise/etc. from this blog, but I'm putting it in here because my goal for this week is to try out a running group. I felt fine during the four miles so I've decided that I haven't completely lost my ability to hold my own. And, I've decided I'm okay with the fact I suck at running regularly without people. There may be a time in my life when that changes, but right now, it is as it is. In addition to those reasons, I was reading Claire's post about friends and I was inspired. Okay, okay, I don't actually know Claire. How I got to her blog is a bit of a long story that begins with how my sister and I like other people's lives. Long story short, Claire runs and Claire has friends. A couple of years ago, Claire also moved to a city where she had a boyfriend. The current situations of either of those two relationships are irrelevant. Claire, unlike Sara, make a conscious effort to make friends. I was so discouraged by my experiences during my first semester freshman year that I decided I wasn't going to "try" to make friends who may or may not just turn me down. Instead I'd be regular Sara day-to-day and hope for the best. And, things have turned out fairly well, but it's time to take some initiative! It's okay if this is not how I make my new friends, but I need to get out of the apartment. I spend most of my time here working on freelance projects. Besides, running is the only time in my life that I leave the house knowing I'm wearing the right shoes.

My shoes match my watch

Remember when I said I was an emotional marathon watcher? I'm even an emotional marathon reader-abouter. Spencer's just a regular guy, but I understand the silence. The marathon is inevitably something in my future, just not yet.


The blog that the bit about Spencer is written on, is a blog I learned about through my friend, Heather. There are a zillion and one mother blogs out there, but these are the two I read and find interesting outside of a child-raising sense... which gets a little old when you don't actually have kids. Heather has a great way of focusing not only on being a mother, but of experiencing and loving extended family and the experiences of life. "The Mother Runner" helps me remember I can go running. I don't, but I know I can. If I had a routine I'd rename my blog, not the living bean, but Running in the Grown Up's World. It's different here.

The Treadmill

In some ways I find it strange to admit this, but I ran on a treadmill today... by choice. I was at home and the weather was even nice out. Anyone who knows me well, or even moderately well, knows I often talk down about the treadmill. Why run on the treadmill when you can run outside? See the fall leaves! See the city! See the people! Breathe!

Well, I ran on a treadmill because if the hardest part is putting on the shoes, then why not skip that part? I've heard so much about barefoot running and I wanted to be barefoot today, but I don't own Vebrams and I know from the 2 blocks I sprinted the other day barefooted in East Harlem, it's not the best idea. So, I ran 2, 2 and a half miles on the treadmill, barefoot. Of course, my toes are not calloused the way they once were and being barefoot does help you avoid the heal strike so my feet are still sort of on fire, but oh well. Honestly, it was a really good workout. The first half of the running was really slow, running barefoot and running on a treadmill are both strange sensations and put together you don't really believe that you're running as slow as you are. Of course, once I was down to 8:20 pace and felt totally a.okay, so much so that I did my last quarter or so at 7:40 pace, I realized how slow I'd really been going at the beginning.

And, if you think the shoes are easy, it's the getting dressed part, skip that too. Sports bra and skivvies... it's like bun hugger days, but without the race or teammate negativity.
[Side note: I love bun huggers and got so annoyed at teammates who made a big deal about them. I loved running because it was the one time that it didn't matter how you looked]

The other great part about running on a treadmill is that you can run for 10 or so minutes and then stop, drink a little water, do some abs, do some yoga poses, do a couple youtubed workout bits and then return to the treadmill... all on your yoga mat, without ever getting your butt dirty or worrying about dog poo in the grass.

Of course, I'll be honest, I still LOVE running outside. I hate waiting for cars when crossing the streets it takes to get to Central Park, but the Park or the path, if I go east, is so lovely when I get there that I still want to do it a large percent of the time. So, I don't plan on stopping my outside runs. More than 25, 30 minutes on the treadmill would get painful anyways and I don't want to limit myself to that, but there are benefits and I'll admit it, my Monday run was inside my fourth floor apartment.r

If this is an update, what's a downdate?

My good friend, Lydia and I were exchanging "what are you up to" type stories, and this was my reply to her:

Once upon a time, there was a girl who moved to New York City with a kindasorta plan. The kindasorta plan kindasorta worked, but the girl still wasn't happy and since the plan was only temporary anyways, she quit her 10-6 office job and applied... for more. She had one more week of work [designing for a show] and on this Sunday she will be unemployed... to be continued

So, for those of you who are wondering, that's where I am at. I've been trying to do as much reading as possible. I did really well applying for jobs two out of the last three weeks, but something [honestly unknown] reduced the amount of time in the days this week and so it's been a little tougher.
However, the week did include a meeting with a director whom I'd met while working at TNC (the theater I was box office managing for when I first returned). She knows quite a bit more than I do about producing. So, I asked her if we might be able to sit down at some point. Obviously her life has been busy as well so it's taken a little while, but a bit of emailing back and forth paid off. Yes, sometimes people put you off because they don't want to x, y, or z, but I find in this city, much more often than in the Midwest, it has nothing to do with x, y, z, but rather they really are that busy and if you just keep trying, it will happen and when it does it will be worth it. I have at least two perfect examples of that already.



In other news, Emily was awesome enough to get me an old Hope jersey. I don't know if she realizes it, but she actually got me one of the ones that was once mine! #29! I'm trying to remember when it was that I wore it because I don't remember looking quite this...

so, my new goal is to fit into this top better. I mean, the tops were never overly flattering on the stomach area [not long enough], but not quite this gross either.

In order to either lose weight and/or get back running, I have tried a lot of things. I've put a schedule on my wall with post-its so I can move the distances to the "done" category when I've done them. I've tried waking up early, I've tried sleeping in. I've taped pictures of runners on my walls and on my floor. I've looked at other runners' times. I posted pictures of past Turkey Trots [my next 10k]. I keep my shoes by the door and my weights in site at all times. I'm really not doing well. And, to be honest, I don't have any new plans for running, except waking up and doing it. That's all it really takes, I don't know why that second part fails to happen so often.
The eating junk is also still a problem. It's at its worse when I work at nights in the theater. I get bored or anxious or... whatever and just want chocolate. I couldn't tell you the last day I didn't either have chocolate or skittles... or both. Now, when I tried to cut them out of my eating pattern completely I failed miserably. So, I am going to try and reduce them, but the important thing is...

I am giving up eating while walking.

It's stupid. I scarf [is that still the right way to spell that?] an entire piece of pizza and a candy bar in one walk and when I get to my destination a few blocks later, I still feel the need to eat. I have it in my head that if I'm walking and eating it 1. doesn't matter and 2. is a "snack" and so I still need to eat a full meal. This is problematic. So, the plan is, no more eating while walking. I'm even going to try not to do that in my apartment. You may be thinking, Sara, how big is your apartment? And, not thaaat big, but I often will eat a handful or two of animal crackers from the kitchen to my room. I eat them so fast that when I get to my room I am disappointed and need to go back to the kitchen to get more. And, I would just not buy them, but if I don't buy them at target for 2/3 the price, I'll end up buying them daily on my walks anyways. There is candy one step away at every corner in midtown.

Next week, when I'm unemployed I'm probably not going to leave the house much. There's no real reason to and it's much cheaper to stay inside. I'm paying rent and have a bed, I need to get my money's worth.

There's always more to talk about, but for now, back to the to-do list..

-mail x, y & z
-read Peter Hall's Diaries
-Finish "How to Run a Theater"
-Look up theaters with producing directors
-Write them all letters
-Apply to x, y, z, a, b...

and so on...


ps. 2011 is the year of weddings. Congratulations to the newest engaged Schae-Schae & Brett. xo. Can't wait to see you two at Christmas!!!

Restoring [my own] Sanity

As I prepared to depart from my office for yesterday's run, the giant storm stopped! The storm ended up being much more dangerous than I had realized at the time (trees uprooted, roofs taken off buildings, ect.), but that was probably why the air felt so perfect when the storm was through. This was my first run in a 2ish weeks and only my third since returning to the city. Yet, I ran a great six miles. I'm not sure how long it took me, as I forgot to restart my watch at a crosswalk or two, but I stopped for about 10 minutes to enjoy the Hudson (pictures below) and just briefly at Central Park and I still managed to get home in about an hour (so maybe sub830). I think seeing other [more in shape] runners along the Hudson and in the Park -along with having so much emotion to run off- just gave me a new sense of energy. I even kept my core strong for most of the run.
I love days when I feel like a runner again. My head cleared;I felt alive. It was perfect.


What was my mid-run stretching spot last fall, while looking South


And North


I'm pretty sure the people who think this city isn't beautiful have just never opened their eyes.



After a great run, I showered, warmed up, ate, and then- it's important to do it in that order- went grocery shopping with Lindsay. We bought ice cream and made a new "friend". Okay, maybe he isn't our new 'best-e' for sure, but it was an interesting conversation to say the least.

With the run and ice cream in, I slept quite solidly.
No matter how I sleep, I rarely feel motivated to get out of bed (Mondays-Fridays). However, this morning I managed to get up with the first alarm and every train came right as I walked up to it. I arrived at work 20 minutes early. With that 20 minutes I confirmed that one of my favorite college friends is coming to visit AND I booked a bus to DC for 10-30-10 because I'm 22 and I want some sanity (or fear- not quite sure which) in this country. It'll just be a one night trip and I will get back to New York in plenty of time for the East Village parade. I <3 Halloween.

In other bits of news:
*Last night I bought a mini-strobe at target
*I am hoping to purchase a bike tonight... we'll see how well Craig's List steared me
*I LOVE Autumn and saw my first beautifully fallen leaves in my neighborhood on the way to work this morning.


I believe in beauty and I believe in adventures!

A Spattering

Friends are important. I like the idea of spending time with them.
We had our very first dinner party last night and it was absolutely wonderful... laughter and delightful foods were enjoyed by all (I think)(at least by me a lot).

Success, by any definition is hard to find. Ralph's definition is particularly difficult. Must we all post it on our fridge?
To laugh much; to win respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived--this is to have succeeded."

I'm scared of not succeeding.

In order to fight against the "but I'm too tired to run" thing I've been doing for the past month, I brought my running clothes to work and I'm just going to run home with my phone in one hand and my keys in the other. Woo!

It's going to DOWNPOUR on the way home. I'm banking on it being cleansing.



Songs like this make me cry.

Tshirts like sweatshirts.

Today I went on a run at Mill Hollow and was reminded of a few things that I may not have forgotten, but were put into practice today:

Runners don't take off their shirts just because it was hot. We also take them off so we have something to wipe away the sweat from our eyes with between intervals. Now-a-days I keep my shirt on and thus go through at least two shirts each run/stretching/drive home. [It's a good thing I've only been running once a week lately, haha. I don't sweat as much while biking so it's less laundry].

Humidity makes it more difficult to breathe. Deal.

Good stretching saves legs.

Don't give into your cravings right away. Four(ish) cookies worth of raw cookie dough as soon as you come home may or may not be a terrible idea. This is especially true when your stomach is out of season. Plus the running seems a little bit silly when you eat twice as many calories right away, but don't replenish much of the real nutrients. Drink milk.

Running makes showers 10,000xs better than usual.

I am looking forward to having someone to run with and keep me motivated, but I am dreading feeling even more out of shape than I already do *dramatic sigh*



In less related news, I love (and am currently listening to) Hall & Oates song "Sara Smile". It's my favourite Sara song.

Saying Yes

Apparently my dream already exists, but I didn't know about it when I was in New York. I suppose it is just one more reason to return now.



Today was incredibly productive.
I am thankful my legs let me do another four mile run today in my shoes which my parents bought me this past weekend.
I am thankful my mind got a bit a reprieve when I stopped midrun to walk by the water and then swing for awhile.
I am thankful that on the way to the swingset I stepped in wet ground so I could remember what spring meant and feel the funny mush in my shoes. It's not my favorite feeling, but I appreciate the memories it brings.
I am grateful for a productive meeting about lighting for Behind the Uniform. The design may take some work, but I have a good feeling about it.
I am thankful for the quietness of the third floor of the library and how many wonderful resources are at my fingertips for research.
I loved today's weather of slightly overcast high 40s uncertainty.
I am relieved by my doctor's appointment and the general encouragement by the people there.
I am thankful for my parents. They are awesome.

And I am extra thankful today for Amy who makes delicious chicken pockets and rice and shares them. I was ignoring real meals today for the sake of productivity and in order to write this 6 page paper I am about to start, I needed some deliciousness in my tummy.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Affable

While skimming my last few entries I realize I have only written about things that would exist no matter where I lived. Strange. A speedy update on a lot of stuff you've missed:

I am currently balancing three amazing internships. The designer I originally came to New York to work with is out of town/country for the next couple of weeks. As a result he found a theatre/dance group I could do some dramaturgy work with [since that is something else that has interested me]. Around the same time I received a message from a friend from college asking me what my schedule was like. A family friend of hers runs a talent management agency and they were looking for some office help. Since she knew I was, at one time, looking into administration she suggested calling them. Well, everything worked out and now I technically have 3 internships. My original internship is majorly toned down, but will pick back up in a week and a half. Luckily I have had very little negative stress as all of the people I work with are incredibly understanding and encouraging. While my hips are getting frustrated at the 3-4 miles-a-day I walk in bad shoes every day [in addition to the subway rides], the rest of me loves going to my internships. Overall, life is definitely good.

This week I will see a total of 3 shows [the most different shows I've seen in a single week since I've been here]. Tonight I am going to see "Rabbit Hole," which my amazing friend Julie helped costume. Thursday night I saw "What We Once Where" with one of the managers at DS. It was a lovely set, but the play did leave something to be desired. On Wednesday I took a 5:00 train to New Haven and saw "Eclipsed," the play I had gone to Yale to work on a couple weeks ago. I wanted to see the 'end result' and the ME of the show nicely let me stay at his apartment over night so I could see the show. It was a bit of a crazy trip: see a show, stay up late, wake up WAY too early to take a 7:00 train back for a 10:00 day. However, it was a good adventure and worth the train ticket.

My family is officially coming up to New York for Thanksgiving. They're renting a place in Brooklyn and we are going to cook Thanksgiving dinner together. There are so many things to do in New York and it will be difficult to fit in the few things we are narrowing our days down to. Of course, there is the chance I will return here and we can do more next time :) It's an interesting feeling. I am looking forward to spending time with them, but am just hoping the pace of life won't change too drastically due to pressure of doing or seeing things. As exciting as New York is I hope it doesn't overshadow family time :)

I haven't ran since Sunday when I did a decent run pre-Marathon. I don't feel as guilty about it as perhaps I should. I have already walked over 25 miles this week. If people at work didn't mind me being smelly I would've ran that plus some, haha. In all seriousness, I am hoping to run track at Hope at the spring. I would like to [FINALLY] break 20 in the 5k and I would like to be strong enough to run a decent Steeple. The more I think about it the more I realize I want to and I need to run. If it runs into theater, then it runs into theater. I have given the past year and I will give many more years to theatre, I can spend one more semester dedicating a good portion of myself to running. As it is I will miss most of Tuesday and Thursday practices for the first half of the semester due to Principles of Design [darn 200 level theater classes, hahaha].
I miss my runners. I miss the Amherst girls and I miss my Hope runners. I wish I could have been with the Amherst girls as their season progressed. They did not make it out of regionals, but as a team I believe they stayed strong and there were many individual feats they accomplished. I am proud of them and my time with them has made me want to coach even more. I have a lot more to learn before I could put myself on the same level as any of the people I've run for, but those girls are amazing runners and amazing people; I have high hopes for them.
I miss the atmosphere and excitement of my Hope runners. I know, due to graduation and other things, the atmosphere will be incredibly different from the last time I was part of the team, but I miss my team. Contrary to what seemed to be happening my first semester at Hope, half of my closest friends have come from the team. Most of them won't be running in the spring, but that's not necessarily while I am running. They are a lot of the reason I am glad I have ran in the past.
Confession: I think part of the reason I am not minding getting pudgy is because A. I am not getting as pudgy as I was in London and B. Guys still make positive comments to me when I walk down the street. I realize this will change soon enough, but in the mean time, it may be shallow, but it makes me smile... especially when they say reallllly ridiculous things, hahaha. [I love this city] Upon reading this, you must also realize that I am not an attractive person compared to a large portion of this city. This is essentially the first time in my life that I have ever been asked for my number or even been hit on. It is truly flattering when it happens and so I am appreciating it whenever it does.

In attempt to satisfy my need for a team, I have continued hashing [to some extent]. While they're a "drinking club with a running problem," as long as they can empathize with my running, I love them. I watched the marathon with them last Sunday and it was a wonderful time. Every time I go, even if I don't know 90% of the people, everyone is friendly and it's always an enjoyable time. Thank you to Mrs. Dodge for suggesting I try it out [hashnyc.com]. They are some of the best- and most accepting- people in this city.

And an update on my possible career path: I am getting more attached to the idea of designing.
My friend Jeri, from Hope (who is currently doing the same program in London that I did last spring) and I are working on putting together a show to put up at Hope in the spring. She would direct and possibly sound design. I would do lighting and possibly some dramaturgy. I am ridiculously excited for this as we both have the same sense of dedication and I know Jeri is a reliable person. Plus we are both quickly approaching graduation so are both approaching this project from the same direction.

Let's be honest. I have high hopes for the rest of this semester, for next semester, and for the rest of my life. If I can stay surrounded by such great people, I will continued to be truly blessed.

Trinity Sunday

Happy Trinity Sunday!

Today my church celebrated its 50th anniversary. We had many of our founding members with us as well as most of our past pastors and/or their children. Elizabeth, the Synod Bishop and all of our past organists (we have only had 3 in our 50 year history... one for 45 of those years) were also there. Trinity did a great job of publicizing our "Unity Sunday" and has had many events leading up to this one. We mixed all of the services together and had one crowded parking lot. The pews were filled in the best kind of way. I haven't been to Trinity in 6 months so it was also nice to catch up. My parents have been out of town a lot so they were also grateful for the opportunity. The synod Bishop gave a great sermon and referenced how close knit, yet open and friendly our congregation seems (and is). It really is a wonderful thing to be a part of.

After the service we went to "Vermilion on the Lake," which is where, 50 years ago, our church was born. It was actually used as a dance hall at night and every Sunday morning they'd bring in the pulpit and the alter and wipe down and move out the tables. At VOL we had prayer, lunch, awards and a variety of speakers. It was interesting to hear "old timers" reflect on the beginnings and others to reflect on the progression. I had a great time laughing and catching up with some of my favorite church members. It was yet another great reminder of how many people are out there to share with. It's very easy for friends to be like those doors of opportunity... you spend so long staring at the ones walking away that you forget to greet the ones showing up. One speaker while talking said we don't know what we have, but you know, when you start searching for a Church somewhere else, you do. And I think I do know. It's another family. It's a support system and it's a well of love where everyone gets a bucket. When you're united in Christ, something endless and powerful, it makes it possible to be that.

Well, either way, I had a great Sunday and after 5 hours I came home. I must admit, due to my recent inability to fall asleep at a decent hour, I was a little cranky. Despite this, my mom managed to get me out of the house to Mill Hollow with her, my dad, Lori, and the two dogs: Lizzy and Cody. I ran with Lizzy for a little while and then gave her back to them so that she didn't get tired. Then I continued off while my parents and Lori walked. At first it was a difficult run. It was terribly humid and I'm still out of shape (apparently it takes more than a week and a half to get back in shape. Darn.) But, it ended well and I was glad to get out for another 40 minutes. I rewarded myself with non (or low)-fat vanilla ice cream with fresh strawberries and raspberries in it after dinner. While we ate our ice cream, my parents and I watched a movie kinda-on George Cohan... what a cool guy. It was a good night.


Yesterday was a great day too. I wanted to go running, but ran out of time in the morning. I had bought a Richard Simmons video at Goodwill the day before (pause for confusion and/or laughter) so my mom and I got a good laugh and a good workout out of that. Then I got ready and went to John and McCartney's wedding shower.
Let me take a moment to say that while I think marriage is a lovely thing, but it boggles my mind how many of my friends have their facebook status as "married" or "engaged"-- and mean it.
Ah, but yes, McCartney and John's shower... it was so great to see everyone. If you don't know already, I love the whole Melick family. Mrs. Melick even introduced me to a person or two as "everyone's friend". A title like that (or the alternative of "crazy aunt") is part of the reason I feel so fully Sara when I'm at the Melick's house. I am (hopefully) seeing Christy tomorrow since we always have catching up to do. I was sad to leave the excitement, but I had made plans to go kayaking so between the two parties at their house, off I went.
And Aaron was great and even skipped out of dinner, saying he'd eat when he got back, and we went kayaking right away. We went down to Vermilion, just past Romp's and kayaked around. There were bugs galore (ew), but it was otherwise really nice. I'm looking forward to going kayaking a lot more this summer. Please let me know if you'd like to go. We own 2 kayaks so unless you own one it's just us, but it can be really relaxing... or a really good workout, depending on what you are looking for.

When we got home we took the kayaks off the car and I somehow lost my dad's key... still haven't found it. This is why you should always leave keys on the key ring.
I had dinner and then had a chance to talk to Schae-schae, one of my best friends. We try to talk fairly often because it's hard to keep up-to-date since we're always off causing trouble. I just wish we lived closer together! Hopefully we'll be able to see each other soon.

After that phone call I talked to my sister for awhile. Actually, they were in the other order. All the same, I caught up with my sister too. I'm very excited to see her next Saturday!!

After phone use I got looking at jobs (stillll looking) and then attempted to fall asleep for way too long. With the exception of the lack of a job and inability to fall asleep at night, it's been a great weekend... lots of quality time with good people!

And now I'm listening to Tom Petty non-stop since my friend John got one Petty song stuck in my head.

Oh Tom, you are so right, "Good love is hard to find" and I do "belong amongst the wildflowers... somewhere I feel free".


Goodnight to all and may the Peace of the Lord be with you Always.

Going the Distance

When this occurred I read the story and knowing some people, some runners from the area it broke my heart, but I stumbled across it again today I realized I never shared it.

It is Ryan Shay's story. I recommend reading it...

Ryan Shay's Pure Heart at Runner's World.com

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Canals, bicycles and lollipops

Entry is written in pieces as I post what I wrote down on my pink post-it notes as I was experiencing things. I plan on buying my own personal journal sometime in the next week as I realize that there are some things which need to be taken down without attention given to audience.


It's strange how different and yet, similar my trips to Paris and Amsterdam were. In both I saw Van Gogh paintings and guys peeing in the street. Whether in France or The Netherlands I found people to talk to and sketchy people to avoid. I felt slightly safer in France, but I think that was because there were more sober people and I never felt lost. Yet, I enjoyed both countries and feel as though something is more complete by visiting them.

In Paris Mona Lisa was actually larger than I thought she'd be. Everyone had talked about how small she was bigger than I imagined. In Amsterdam there were even more bikes than I imagined. They weren't as aggressive as I thought they might be, but they were simply omnipresent. And the parents have their kids on the backs and fronts of their bikes. Friends are comfortably riding with a person or two on the back. It's really a bit of a spectacle. I ran when I was in Amsterdam and until I got to Vondel Park I didn't see a single other runner. I had to stop quite often for bikes or scooters or slow people on the path. I didn't particularly enjoy running in Amsterdam. There were more people running in Gronigen, but I didn't run there.

After running by a certain fenced in garden in London, I learned that the smell of marijuana makes me tummy feel a little funny when running, Amsterdam confirmed this. I'm glad that people don't normally smoke week near tracks or cross country courses.

While in Amsterdam I walked around quite a bit, exploring the neighborhoods. I didn't take quite as many pictures because there weren't as many "monuments" and after awhile you get a little tired of bikes.
Miller had told me that if I go to Amsterdam I should definitely visit the Anne Frank Huis (House) despite the wait and this was good advice. I extend the advice to you. It's worth it... although you might find yourself wanting to read the book again by the end :)
On Sunday night, Els (a relative of mine) took me to see Valkerie which I thought would just be okay, but following Anne Frank's house, it was a great combination. Although I was a bit emotionally exhausted of WWII by the end of the weekend.


I wandered around for a bit and found Sara's Pancake House that was in my sister's pictures. I ate there. It was alright. The service wasn't the best, but hey, it had my name in the title :)
I also found this cheese house that my brother recommended. He had the street names one off, but I ran into it on accident. He was right when he said they had the best cheese. I'm not even what you would consider a "cheese person" and-- delicious. De Kaaskamer Van Amsterdam. I recommend it. It was probably the best cheese I've ever had. Next door there is a tooth brush store which my brother recommended to me. Here is a video of their awesome ferris wheel of toothbrushes. You may have to tilt your head. Ignore the sound.


On Saturday I went to an outdoor market and bought a few exciting things. One of these included a 14e dress (which I probably should've tried to lower the price for). When I returned home I realized I didn't have anywhere to wear the dress so I wore it yesterday to school. Many people complimented it and made me feel quite good about myself. I even got to twirl in it in acting. It's a lovely twirly dress :) It's pink with black designs which have some glitter on them. The dress poofs on the bottom. It fits a little funny on the top as it's a bit used, but it's still lovely.

Note for all you costumers out there: While at the Van Gogh Museum I discovered Rorbye has quite a few lovely pictures of costumes from 1850s Italy so if you ever do a show set in that period, look him up.

Also, people can tell you how many bikes there are in The Netherlands and how they run the roads and how they are essentially used as cars (people carrying everything from grocceries to children), but until you see it, I don't think you can really properly imagine it.


Written Saturday, March 7th:
"Call me crazy, but I think I'd like Amsterdam more if there was less pot and no red light district. I am not against pot, I just don't smoke it. The only time I was really tempted was when I saw the lollipops on Saturday morning. They looked quite delicious. I resisted. I can understand why people go to Amsterdam to do pot though. It's accessible everywhere and there are lots of people doing the same. Plus it's cheaper and safer than in the US. And I think the safety is what matters. The Red Light District is a whole 'nother story... having the first time I stumbled upon it being when I was quite lost, exhausted and by myself probably didn't help my judgement on it. To be honest, it feels like it's something that doesn't really exist. It's a surreal story, not a lucrative business..."

Then my coffee came and I stopped writing.

Welp, those are snapshots are my experience.
The pictures- which there aren't many exciting ones so don't hold your breath- should be up on facebook within the next week. Thanks to friends for your encouragement. So far my travels have been consistently interesting and "new experiences"... just like I asked for.

There are no 'open roads' in London

There's something about running that just makes my life that much better. This morning Trevor and I went running to the Kensington Central library to pick up copies of books we needed for our class. That is pretty much the only thing I've done today. I made myself a large pasta dish for lunch (tomato pesto-sauce with hamburg meat in it all over spaghetti noodles.... with some red wine... ah! delicious) and fell asleep shortly after it as a result of being so full. I just ordered a book online, but that's about it. And oddly, I don't feel too terrible about it. I accomplished about the same amount of nothingness yesterday (which means I'll be up late tonight finishing homework), but hadn't run. As a result I felt much less productive with my day.

Moral of the story: Running probably does a lot more psychological good than it does physical good.


I wonder if I lived in another area of London, perhaps more North or more East (cheaper and/or more night-life-inclined), would I feel the same way as I do about London? Given, I have spent at least a little time in most of the boroughs, but the view out of your window when you wake up affects your approach to the day.