Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Just One Little...

I had a cookie for breakfast. It wasn’t an intentional cookie-breakfast, but I don’t feel guilty about it. It was a delicious cookie, on a plate of other delicious cookies in the kitchen at work. I only took one, enjoyed it with my tea and began working. I kept thinking about those cookies, but ate my yogurt and planned on not eating again until lunch time.

Shortly after checking in with my body and making this decision I wandered into the kitchen to get more tea. What was there waiting, but leftovers from a meeting. On this tray of things that I could’ve passed over, was a ¼ of a large chocolate muffin. Yes, I’d already eaten a cookie, but I love chocolate muffins. So, I took it. With thoughts of it-could’ve-been-worse, I’d like to take this moment to applaud the person who cut all the muffins and bagels and to applaud the people who ate the rest of the chocolate muffin because after one bite, I would’ve eaten a whole one. Actually, if I had bought them at the grocery store I would’ve sat and eaten all 4 chocolate muffins in their little carton in one sitting. As I finished my ¼ I began thinking about picking up a carton of 4 muffins and eating them for the rest of the day. They would, after all, total pretty close to what my daily calorie intake is. That would be okay, right?

I could rationalize the free, hungry-without-breakfast single cookie, but if there was more chocolate readily available, I would have done more than faltered a little. I really want brownies and soft, gooey chocolaty things. Why is moderation so difficult?

Thursday, May 17, 2012


SARCARE It’s been a good 6 months since I’ve posted. That break was the right decision at the time, but too many of my mental bits are going to people who don’t “get” it, so here I am. I tried to create other blogs with more focused topics, but alas, why? For now, I’m focusing on tracking my SarCare.

SarCare is the name I came up with yesterday for my intentional self-improvement. I’ve finally moved towards a full-on renovation by 3 recent events/factors:

1. My constant desire to run and/or create and not having time to do either
2. A Friday night, a couple of weekends ago when I (while on a date) was so short of sleep I began crying because I just couldn’t listen or do anything until I was laying in bed. I was 3 feet from a bed at the time.
3. Body image. My body doesn’t feel good and I’ve been knowingly not taking care of it for too long. It’s beginning to show physically and I don’t want that to continue.

I have a lot of areas I want to improve in my life, but SarCare involves a few specific ones to start off with:

1. The Sleep Initiative. Sleep 7-8 hours a night. Yes, I’ve survived and even thrived on less, but since I can’t seem to find a middle ground, 7-8 is the new goal during the workweek. 6 will happen, but can’t be the normal as it allows too easily for a 4 hour night.

2. Operation Vegetable. Increase my vegetable intake. I do okay with fruits, but they’re higher in sugar than vegetables and there’s no reason to keep ignoring it… grown-ups need vegetables. For the first two weeks of SarCare Operation Vegetable also includes a 2-week* removal of the following: coffee, chocolate, ice cream & candy. Alcohol will be limited to one day/week. That’s not really a change for the alcohol, but just a reminder 1x/week.

*exception made for dates if the gentleman offers. I’m determined to not be ‘that girl
< 3. The Friends & Family Plan. A continued effort to reach out to friends and family. Exact details of this plan are still in the works. One major adventure will be a Memorial Day weekend trip home to see my Grandparents, Parents & Ohio friends.

4. Long-term Sustainability. Progress on my to-do list to reach the next step professionally. I’ll keep most actionable tasks (except for books I read) quiet as I don’t like to build up anyone else’s expectations for my career. That said the fields include lighting design & arts programming. If you have access to continued opportunities, let me know!

5. Not Just Any Body. I will give myself time to run and lift. I’ve come up with a couple simple exercises I do each night before bed. They’re complete in less than 2 songs, but keep my physical state alive because sitting in an office chair tires you in the lamest of ways. They’ll be the new base.

Today is Day 2 without chocolate, ice cream, candy or coffee. I realize that might not sound like much to most of you, but I normally consume at least one of those every day. Yeah, a little much, but New York seems to have every flavor of chocolate and when you stumble upon lavender dark chocolate, it can be tough to resist. But, resist I will! Wish me luck.

I was supposed to run today, but took an extra shift at work instead. I’m going to be gone for 5 days so I think financially it was a necessary choice. It’ll either be a night run or a really great, much needed workout on Saturday.

Listening to: “Finally Moving” – Pretty Lights