Monday, November 21, 2011

Nom nom nom

Warm granola puts cold granola to shame. What have I been doing all my life that I hadn't learned this yet? So, MotherRunner is one of those friend of friend's blogs I read, you know, because she's awesome. On her blog she has this recipe for slow-roasted granola.

I was missing a few things, but as she notes on her blog, granola's forgiving.

8 cups rolled oats... or 4 cups of some oat/rye/barley mix that you use at oatmeal in the morning
1/2 cup sunflower seeds... or not because you don't have them
1/2 cup sesame seeds... or more because you don't have sunflower sea
1 cup sweetened coconut... or a little more because you can
1 1/2 cups chopped almonds... ish. I just hammered my whole almonds until I worried I might be too loud hammering at 11pm on a Sunday night

2/3 cup vegetable oil... or 1/2c since you don't have as many oats
2/3 cup honey... or a little more because you don't have any maple syrup
1/2 cup maple syrup... well you don't have it so how about some brown sugar
1/4 water or 4 egg whites*... I used a fair amount of egg whites
1 tsp. vanilla... or a little more because you like it
1/2 tsp. salt... or a little more because you poured too fast
1/2 tsp. cinnamon... or pumpkin spice because for some unknown reason you have pumpkin spice and no cinnamon

Thursday, July 7, 2011


I had a nap dream that I went running, woke up sweaty (it's hot up in these 4 story walk-ups sans a/c) and decided that counted as exercise. Yay!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Child Cases

First 33 minutes of this PBS/NPR bit are about diseases that look like child abuse. This is absolutely fascinating and the possibilities for incorrect judgments are scary.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

A 23 year-old

I have a to-do list with high priority stickers half-a-page long. However, my brain can't focus because the priority stickers don't hold a candle to... my heart strings?

I don't know what to do with this feeling. Two nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night and felt the need to check my computer. So, at about 4am I read a fb posting of a former neighbor. His sister had written on his wall that she'd miss him and she'd give anything to see him one last time. I immediately googled him because I grew up with this kid and this was completely out of the blue. Well, for the next 12-ish hours nothing came up. However, more people wrote on his wall and I started to feel sick as reality tried to set in. I spent hundreds and hundreds of hours sitting on the curbs of Rock Creek Run with this kid. We jumped on his trampoline and played hide-and-go-seek around the neighborhood. He, like most of the neighbor kids would ride his bike around... although I was a weird-o who rollar-bladed instead. He taught me about boys' ears and was a great guy-friend to an (like most of them) insecure Jr. High girl. We passed a lot of time together in the summer. Now that I think about it, there were about 9 or 10 of us all within a year or two of each other. We were quite the neighborhood group. While it's been years since I talked to the majority of the neighborhood kids, in the doorbell ringing, roof and curb-sitting memories we'll remain kids forever.

When someone who you don't see every day passes away it often makes it feel less real. I recognize that my experience and loss is completely different from his closest friends' and family's. It feels more like a destruction of a childhood memory than anything else. As long as my belief in heaven remains intact I can stick with the "you'll see him on the other side" mentality. Perhaps the root of this uneasy feeling is the removal of the shade of invincibility that I live under. He was 23. Outside of alcohol related accidents, who, from my life, dies at the age of 23? No one. And why do these articles keep saying "man". He was just a guy, down the street, with perfect blue eyes and a great sense of humor, who once shot me in the leg with a paintball gun.

A guy who a lot of people are really going to miss in their lives. If you pray, please pray for healing and healthy coping for those closest to and those not-so-far from him.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011


I'm taking a break from this blog. It's mostly to be attributed to the multiple jobs plus design work I'm doing this month. I'm endlessly grateful for the opportunities (and the small, but bigger than last months' paychecks), but they don't leave time for much else.

Sorry to all my long-distance friends I am and will continue to neglect for a little while. You're the best. Thanks for always, and typically patiently, being there.


Also, Amy is funny.

And this breaks my heart and yet heal again every time a new post is posted.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

No, really, "The Life"

I'm starting with the bad things did happen disclaimer. Skip this section if you don't want to hear about the downers

Disclaimer: My day was not perfect. I messed up my 4th toe on my right foot. I, as usual, had serious moments of insecurity at the first job of the day. I'm not missing a little bit of skin on the top of my right hand. I'm accumulating quite the sleep debt. I've been waking up before 8... every day. I woke up at 5am on Sunday. I ran out of time to eat dinner and my ravioli went bad. I swiped my card at the wrong turnstile on my way home. I saw a girl that looked like this kid-who-broke-my-heart's xgf (who he's pretty much still in L.O.V.E. with) and it made my stomach get a sinky feeling in it... etc. etc. etc.

But, today was a great day!
My tomato plants are growing. I arrived to both of my jobs a tiny bit early. The trains were on time. On my way home from ushering I was so sleepy I swiped my card at the wrong turnstile and despite my abrasiveness the guy at the Astor Place uptown 6 train still let me go in without paying the extra 2.25. While I felt incredibly insecure, people were nice today at job one and I did do a couple of things right.

I ate my lunch sitting on a tiny fence in the median of Broadway, in the sun. I didn't spend any money on lunch because I packed from home and it was delicious. The grumpy elevator man had a 1/2 a moment of less grumpiness when I asked him his name. His name is Jose. He was the perfect character. The freight elevator opened and there he was... a little dirty looking, smoking (no, really, a cigarette... inside, in the elevator), in his tank top with a scowl to make you feel like you didn't fit in the freight elevator with all his crankiness. Jose's alright.

None of my work boo-boos were noticeable to the people around me. I got asked out in seriousness. A friend who moved away from NYC is coming to visit and txted me to ask if I wanted to join her and her friends at Blockheads in a couple weeks. AND it's a day I'm not working!

Job one let out early so I walked to job 2. I was going to go to Barnes & Noble to kill time. Instead I stopped in Madison Square Park and laid in the grass and did NOTHING for a good 30 minutes. I didn't even write emails or make lists; I just smiled at the awesomeness of the world. After sitting there a few minutes 2 guys sat nearby and took off their shoes. I realized they were right, you could take off your shoes. I enjoyed the next 45 minutes of semi-low productivity, barefoot. A little boy waddled over to me and laughed every time I smiled. My eyes started to get stingy because of how blessed I felt in that moment. A few moments later I saw that girl mentioned in the negative section.... good to be back on earth... meh.

I walked to work and decided to stop at Barnes & Noble to change my clothes. The line to the bathroom felt too much like Cedar Point and it simply wasn't worth the wait. As I started to leave (after wishing I could buy at least 20 different books) my best friend [schae] called! We caught up just a little as I [originally typed we, but I guess I was the only one walking] got to work. We were short an usher, so on day 1 of training I was a real usher and met some great kids. These kids, of course, reminded me how I want to work with Jr. Highers/high schoolers and that I believe in physical theater and need to do more of it.

On the train home I met a guy named Seth and his dog named Murphey. They were both super nice and reminded me that if you want to change something (ie. people's inability to make conversation on the train when you know they want to... for however brief) you have to do it. Waiting's just not for me. I walked home surrounded by the perfect temperature of night air.

I arrived home to email from m.d., which always puts me in a good mood. Shortly after replying to that one I received an offer for a lighting designer gig.

Not every day's this great, but I have to soak these days up for other less favorable times.
I hope you're enjoying all of the sunshine & silver linings.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Brooklyn Bridge

Brooklyn Bridge is one of my favorite New York's tourist attractions. Why? Because it's a bridge. People walk to "experience it" and they bring business to another area of the city, outside of Times Square. There are quite a few places to go out around the Bridge. I've worked in Dumbo before and enjoy that area of Brooklyn, but the Manhattan bars/restaurants had a stronger google presence the other day so we decided to try out The Seahorse's happy hour. People are often ask me for recommendations and finally, I have one. Unlike some of the other fantastic bars/restaurants in the area, Seahorse's Happy Hour is 4-7, 7 days a week. We arrive at 6:10 because of park-enjoying in Brooklyn, but even after the happy hour there are some $2-5 beers. 2 delicious appetizers, 3 drinks a piece, and a true happy hour soundtrack later, we were as content at could be and on our subway home... for kale chips, pseudo-dancing, and roof-sitting.

So, if you're in the Brooklyn Bridge area, I've heard Jeremy's is good, but I know the Sea Horse is bound to be enjoyable.

Kale Chips & Rooftop Views

Dear World,

Kale chips pre-made in the bag are a little expensive for my budget. However, if you can find fresh kale reasonably price, Kale chips are one of the easiest things to make. I'm not sure if they would've been as good the next day, but fresh out of the oven (the first baked kale chips recipe that comes up on a google search) knows simplicity goes a long way.

1 bunch kale <---- We just used all the kale I had. It took 2 baking sheets. Don't be particular about amounts, I'm not sure this is really possible to mess up. 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 teaspoon seasoned salt <---- We used Lowry's. Nom nom nom. Directions

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line a non insulated cookie sheet with parchment paper. <----Or wax paper

With a knife or kitchen shears carefully <---Or not carefully... whatevs
remove the leaves from the thick stems and tear into bite size pieces.
Wash and thoroughly dry kale with a salad spinner. <--- Or skip the whole step if you just want to get them in the oven and don't own a salad spinner anyways
Drizzle kale with olive oil and sprinkle with seasoning salt. <---- Toss in a bowl if moderation in "drizzling" is not your strong suit
Bake until the edges brown but are not burnt, 10 to 15 minutes. <---- It took us 15+ the brown edges are important. They cool fairly quickly so if you take 'em out to test, you'll be able to tell if they're to rubbery.


PS. Last night while making kale chips Lindsay supervised the chips while Joe and I went atop the roof. While up there we experience the quintessential rooftop sitting moment: be minding your own business and all of a sudden glance over and see a guy get un&redressed and pump himself up in the mirror. Don't get me wrong, we were the accidental snoopers. But truly, what more can you want out of life?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dear Friends and Lovers,

(of the Midwest)

My dear, dear friends Amy and Nick are getting married on Saturday, May 7th. Now, when two people are this adorable and this in love, you just can't stay home and think about it in your own city. You must board your megabus, be driven a few hours from the stop to Ohio, and then drive a different car to the adorable camp where they once met and celebrate it with your favorite friends who you haven't seen in a year. So, that, my friends, is what I shall do. Below is the itinerary. I'm posting it because

if you are free and in Ohio or Michigan on the respective days, let me know and we'll play. It'll be great!

Morning in NYC
Afternoon/night on the Megabus

12:00am: Pittsburgh to Amherst
4:30pm Wedding Food Tasting for my sister's wedding!
After that: Cinco de May celebrating with Mike, Jeni, Jenkins, etc.

Wedding present buying/wrapping
Packing for the adventure
Running with Jessica
Sleepover, either with JB & FW or Melissa

Drive to Onekama, Michigan and celebrate the lovers!
Have a day at camp! Note to self: Bring other shoes for wondering around Portage Lake Bible Camp!
And a sleepover with my favorite housemates [minus one... you know, because it's her wedding night] in a cabin!

Drop off Jackie in GR and [mope about it]
Drive to Holland, MI for Hope College Graduation 2011
Sleepover somewhere

Breakfast with Tim
Lunch with The Grandparents
Quality time with Melissa if no Friday sleepover
Quality time with the parents

Morning in Amherst
Afternoon drive to Pittsburgh
Return to New York by midnight
My apartment by 1:30am.

On an unrelated note: Brussel sprouts get a terrible reputation and to those poor mini-cabbages, I'm sorry. you sound way worse than you actually are. Dribble some olive oil, salt & pepper on those veggies and stick them in the oven on 400* and you'll understand. Better yet, let some leaves fall off and let them get super crispy... better than some chips.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

On Repeat

I've been social nearly all week. It makes it hard to get work done. Tonight?
One page magic sheets aka Lighting designer tetris and this man's pandora station:

Or just this song on repeat when I don't like the song on pandora.


Not every plant is growing as tall as the one next to it and not all of the plants are doing well with my here & there trips out of town. But, all of my plants are awesome, beautiful, and bring a lot more happiness to my window sill than there once was.

Did I mention it's been nice out since I came back from Florida?

Amy & Nick's wedding is one week away. I'm pretty excited.

There's someone digging through our garbage bin for bottles and cans to cash in.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Just, ya know, being thankful

I'm a tabber. I usually only have one window up, maybe 2 if I want to focus on a specific project without the other tabs, but tabs range from 4-24. These days each tab is a potential new job. I'd like to work on some of these tabs tonight so I won't type long, but I have a lot to tell you. Alas, time is short, body is tired and bullet points show up:

-I learned to surf this past weekend! Kind of. I stood up a few times. I'm no expert, but I understand why people love it now.

-I ran today. I sent my broken phone back. I accomplished a task I've had on the to-do list since January. I judged a show down by Lafayette. It was a productive day.

-I love my family. I spent Easter weekend in Florida with my mom's side of the family because my Uncle's wedding occurred on Holy Saturday. I had an absolutely fabulous time. I don't know anyone else with a family as much fun as mine is. One night my immediate family + a fiance + a cousin went in the ocean sometime after midnight and battled the waves for what seemed like hours, or at least an hour.

-The bridal shower was at a restaurant on the ocean. It looked a little fake, but it was real.

-My mom made everyone [no, really, everyone] a delicious brunch Easter morning

-We all danced, and danced a lot at the wedding. My uncle and I even did a bit of swing dancing.

-My sister and I ran 2 out of the 3 days. One of those days was a 6 miler in the upper 80s, lower 90s + humidity.... the morning after a lot of salt water & alcohol. Woo dehydration! I've ran 2 out of the 3 days since I've been home.

-I called about one of my resumes and cover letters today. I'd really, really love this job. The HR department's machine picked up and I was too scared to leave a message.

-Last night Lindsay and I went down to DUMBO to see a friend of mine's friend's show, but alas I made the classic Monday this week, Tuesday next week mistake and there was no show. Instead we wandered a little bit. A seemingly nerdier-hipsterish-our-size marching band came out of a building and played in an empty parking lot. We then got recruited for a comedy show that was actually free, no drink minimum, no tips... just fairly decent comedy.

-I'm unbelievably excited for my sister's wedding in September. I'm also trying to figure out how we're ever going to go get to talk to/see all of those people who will be there. Our family alone has so many amazing people connected to it: "The Moms," both sides of our family, the card group, the Port Clinton friends, etc. etc.

-I'm planning for the days surrounding Amy & Nick's wedding in 2 weekends. So far I'm trying to fit in: Cinco de Mayo with Mike, Jeni, Jenkins +/- whomever else shows up, a run with Jessica, possibly wedding-food tasting for the September wedding, a small roadtrip across Michigan, back, across, and back again, a WEDDING, dancing with the newlyweds, Jackie, Faith & Meghan, a sleepover in a cabin... in the woods... in our sleeping bags!, a stopover in Holland, quality time with Tim, good conversations with Lissa, and probably a little bit of time with my parents... or at least my dad when he drives me back to Pittsburgh to get back on the Megabus.

Enough enthusiasm for the past/present/future, back to that cover letter...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Give thanks and rejoice

Last year for Lent I wrote a list of things I was thankful for every day. I didn't do that this Lent. It might've helped my frame of mind as I dealt with some especially undesirable stress, but I didn't. However I enjoyed it and throughout the rest of the church calendar year, and again through this year I feel as though my mind is more and more likely to note the things I'm grateful for. Since I won't have time to do it this weekend, here's this year's all-at-once Lenten List of Thankfulness

Thank you to...
Housemates that deal with my quirkiness
Friends that ask for advice, especially the relationship[ish] kind
Sally. One solid good friend* really cuts down a lot of things you can complain about... and gives you someone to complain about the rest to
*Note: I have other friends, but if you live with the people they're semi-exempt because you can't let yourself overuse them and I'm talking short-distance friendships
Everyone else who came to our party. I had an absolutely wonderful time. I would've had a great time even if it'd been just the 3 of us + sally, but taboo and conversation was just...sigh, thank you.
Friends who let me sleep in their beds or on their couches, often with only 2 days advance notice
Touchy-feely-at-appropriate times people. Sometimes you just need a hug +/- and New York isn't a warm fuzzy city so it's great when you can find those people
The optimists
The Awake! who serve as reminders that I have good energy and I should do nothing less than love and radiate the good stuff
My mom who'll still order my prescription if I'm getting too stressed about it
My dad who'll make sure the car's ready for me to drive to wherever or whatever thing it is I need to make visiting other people possible
My long-distance housemates. I'm still so grateful for that last semester of college and you still having you all in my life
Amy & Nick. 2 people in love is a fabulous thing
Kathryn, for making me feel as though people do want to hang out with me!
Everyone who has ever made an effort to hang out with someone else. It's a reminder that "people can like you just the way you are" and sometimes we 20somethings need those
Old text messages that you reread on your old cell phone that still give you new warm fuzzies
My sister who comes to visit and doesn't get frustrated with me when I'm a little bit of a mess
My brother who tolerates me and will pay for most of the present when I'm too poor
The cell phone gods who protected my phone from water damage
Helpful people. There are so many of you in the world and you're wonderful!
My Grandparents who answer the phone with such enthusiasm that you really feel like you matter
My family. I can't wait to see a bunch of them in the next 2 weeks
All of those people who keep emotionally supporting me and are excited that I'm "fulfilling my dream" or whatever phrase they chose to use. I'm not sure if they're completely right, but they do make me feel good about my choices. Thank you!
FB msg pen pals <3 This blog for reminding me that there are superheroes among us... and really good parents that are my own
Isaac for encouraging me to go to church. And then for going to brunch with me afterward and reknewing my faith in theatre... all of the time
American Theatre magazine for reminding me that Boal technique is thriving and purposeful.
People who read my blog so my little counter can lead me to believe that people are interested in my life for posting meaningful job openings
My plants, for growing sometimes.

Okay, I know that's a weird one to end on, but it just hit me. I'm tired. Thank you for reading. Thanks for being such great people and thank you for being.


I know I'm only five years out of high school so it sounds a little ridiculous me saying this, but stuff like this is just one more reason why I don't think our world is doomed and why I want to work with high schoolers and/ or junior highers at some point. Um, let the video load and skip to the part where you see the baseball players. Jokes and transitions on SNL vary in quality. Don't let this be your make or breaker for the respect tally. Anyways, the point is, we care. We as people, as young people, as grown ups, as senior citizens, we care about each other. And, when we can do nothing else we just do whatever we can think of to show we care. And that's what these high school boys did. They made the decision to put pink tape on them and if all it did was add color to their wardrobe, cause conversations with the refs, and bring warm fuzzies to a few people... well, I'd say it was worth it. You can never have too many warm fuzzies.

I don't iron

Confession: I love packing last minute.

When I pack too soon, which I often did in college whenever we were nearing a break, I get too excited and by the time I go to leave it doesn't feel like I an adventure. The thrill's sort of faded. But, not this time! I've been sort of counting down, but since I was planning for 2+ weddings at once, it kept the count confusing. I'm leaving for my Uncle's wedding in Florida TOMORROW. I don't leave til night, but it's tomorrow so why get specific?

I'm incredibly excited for the adventure out of town and the warm weather! I'm also incredibly excited to see my fabulous family. My mom's brother is the one getting married. I love both sides of my family equally, but growing up I didn't get to see these aunts and uncles as often so it always feels like an extravaganza. It's usually treated like one too. Both of my parents really lucked out with siblings-in-law [and parents, but that's another post]. It's just going to be fun and I know it. I don't have to worry about their being "family drama" or "party poopers" or... really I'm the most dramatic out of the group. I know, you're not surprised, but I wouldn't hold a candle to the craziness in a lot of families. Well, we're crazy, but we're the good crazy... like college.

Minus my toothbrush and stuff for the plane, I'm packed. This means I'll still do a little *extra last minute* since I don't have to leave my house until 5 tomorrow. But, I had a weird moment while I was packing the main bag. I was rolling up my clothes [they fit best that way] with the exception of my dress, which I neatly patted down on the bottom and I realized despite my patting my clothes were going to be wrinkly when I got to Florida. This never really bothered me before because I don't like to iron. I always iron in the wrinkles and creases so I chose [because you can] to enjoy the wrinkle look [it's in, I promise]. As the suitcase filled up I realized I had extra space. I always wear one pair of shoes, tie my running shoes to the top and usually I still fill the space, but I'm going where it's warm so the clothes are smaller. So, I did added my steamer. Yup, my mom got me a travel steamer, which I asked for, for Christmas and I packed it. I'm not going to be wrinkly; I'm an adult.

Tangential, but speaking of wrinkly... bulldogs. Sally loves bulldogs and wants to get one. I think they're ridiculous looking and could never get one because I couldn't take it seriously. Love them, but not for me. Oh wrinklies <3

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

rip original droid

My phone died. I thought it was from running in the rain, but there was no water damage (yessss!). I had insurance on it, but it still would've cost 70 or 80-something. Instead I just have to wait 2 days and a new phone will be mailed to me. I'd like it to get here before I leave for the wedding in 2 days, but if it doesn't, I'm okay with being a little disconnected. I have a phone with me that I can get texts on and I'm excited for the disconnect from email!

While I'm droidless, I have my old phone, which became my old phone because people can't hear me when I talk to them on it. Since it still rings, it'll let me know if any potential employers call and since it texts I can still find people in the airport. And, by people I mean my brother.

Returning to the old phone is strange for a few reasons:

1. The keyboard. The keys are spaced out a little funny and the comma, space bar, apostrophe, and a few other key punctuation marks are in drastically different spots. My thumbs are confused.

2. Old text messages. The droid only allowed me to hold about 55 text messages at at a time, but that didn't stop me from saving 54. I like other people's words. Most of the saved texts were either really recent at the time, good advice, interesting, or just brought me happiness. I'm going to delete a good portion of them now, but let me share some of the happiness with you. Maybe you'll find yours! I'll try to keep spelling, capitalization, and punctuation accurate. Also, don't be afraid to send a text now because I'm going to post it. I won't <3 Besides, these are ones of honor. They're words that I appreciated at the time and still appreciate now.

"That's what spanish to english dictionaries online are for silly girl. I'm teaching you! You're welcome :-p"

"Boo. Pull a [ ] and make some up! You can put a light anywhere! Strip lights are fun. Unless they are multipars. Those things are awful noone should have to [ ]"
[ ] name left out to protect the innocent/genius.

"Always have enough to fly around the world on a moments notice. You don't need to do it but it's liberating to know you can"

"Hung over as fuck but ill survive. Do you know how i got home cuz i sure dont remember"

"I understand that. I hate being sad without a reason because then you feel like it's your fault and you don't even know how to fix it"

"haha. i'll pick you up! i know a beautiful little vegan place near the airport!"

"i dont know if [ ] gave you my number but if we are goin to be besties youll need it. thanks already for being such a great friend to [ ]"
[ ] Name left out to protect the innocent

"Just like i remember it: the cheap beer flows in fountains"

"Yeah. I spent Xmas with Jess and Beth. It was the best Xmas Ive ever had. :) How r u?"

"Like like like. Hold hands like. Snowball fight like. Make you hot cocoa with big marshmallows afterwards like"

"I suggest a tattoo on the left forearm, in wingdings. Keep me in the loop as to when you make it out here!"

"Then it's up to you to make trouble"

"Breathe. Relax. This is not anything to worry about. Breathe."

"So if i was in times square how close would that be to you?"

"I hope so too, this much stress makes me need a mr Rogers song telling me it'll be ok"

"This is the day that the lord has made! Let us rejoyce, and haul our butts into church"

"Oh and my neighbor will have this daughter that will show my son how fun it is to dance in the rain. =)"

"Yeah made me remember how great you were and i think i understand my feelings more now"

"Yes and i dont know even if im an asshole alot of times you are wonderful and im sorry for everything"

"Hah. I'll try my best. I just miss my freshman year with you guys :(..."

Friday, April 15, 2011


I forgot to tell you! I also made this recipe for Banana Muffins with Kahlua and Chocolate Chunks from one of my favorite blogs. Except I used splenda instead of sugar to reduce the real sugar content. However I increased it by not measuring the chocolate I put in and just crushing up 3 1/4 Dove Dark Chocolate bars. I'll let you guess what happened to the other 3/4.  I also left out walnuts because I didn't have them, they're expensive, and we didn't really need them.  Oh! And instead of making muffins, I made it in a loaf pan.  So we had banana bread with Kahlua and Chocolate Chunks. Happiness!

ps. We don't have any left.

pps. But you should still come over for our party gathering tomorrow! I want all these fabulous people I know to come over, but I don't invite more people personally because I'm avoiding the awkwardness of being turned down. Jr. High like, riiiight?

ppps. My roommates both think "loaf" is a hilarious word. Is it?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Pineapple Fried Rice [ish]

Welcome to Sara's Wonderful World of Incomplete Recipes! 

(a regular occurrence when I've spent the time in the day post-shower, which I actually took at 10am today, in boy shorts and an old running t-shirt, and have finally decided to make something with more ingredients than oatmeal, but have come to find out I don't have all the ingredients,
and refuse to get dressed to go to the store or change my dinner plans. Run on fragment? Probably.
Oh! But it does usually involve one song you can dance to on repeat for as long as it takes me to make dinner. Cue tonight's song... "Bulletproof"

Last weekend I decided I would make chicken and rice for dinner.    By the way, this blog entry is the longest way possible to tell you what I had for dinner tonight.  This may not be the best way to spend your time, but if you're interested... read on.    I had frozen chicken breast and a delicious new sauce I'd bought the day before.  However, when I bought this rice back in September I had accidentally bought regular rice instead of instant.  Given the amount of time between my body telling me it could be hungry and me becoming an intolerant bad word, the cooking time of the rice resulted in it never being an option for dinner.   It'd been so long since I'd made the rice that I had forgotten why it'd been sitting idle. So, I heated up some water, threw the rice in and then read the directions. What?! 45-50 minutes.  My chicken had already been in for 5 and wouldn't take more than 20 [already an eternity when you're only cooking for your own hungry self].  But, alas, I'd put all the rice in so there it was to stay.  When it was finally finished over an hour later I'd offered it to my roommates and their friends, who were eating sushi, but, there was still a tubberware container left;  I had no idea rice grew exponentially when it was cooked... forget fish and loaves, I'll bet it was rice.  I put it in the back of my mind and the back of my fridge and went on with life. 

A couple of nights ago, with 10 minutes before I had to leave I decided I wanted to make pineapple fried rice. My roommate nicely discouraged me from such an endeavor as it would take too long and I'd be late.  I heeded her wisdom. 

After waking up from a dinnertime nap I decided tonight was the night! I hadn't looked at the recipe yet, but I had rice, eggs, pineapple, and soy sauce. What else could you possibly need? 

Anyone who has made pineapple fried rice is shaking their head at me.  Depending what recipe you picked in your plethora of google results, the ingredient list may have looked something like this: 
  • 1 cup pineapple tidbits (fresh is better, but canned works too)
  • 4 cups cooked rice, preferably at least 1 day old
  • 4 Tbsp oil for stir-frying
  • 2 shallots, thinly sliced
  • 3 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 red or green chili (de-seeded if milder rice is desired)
  • 1/2 cup roasted unsalted cashews
  • 1/2 cup frozen peas
  • 1 egg, beaten (omit if vegan)
  • 1/4 cup currants (or raisins)
  • 3 Tbsp. chicken or vegetable stock
  • 3 Tbsp. fish sauce (or substitute 3+ 1/2 Tbsp. soy sauce if vegetarian)
  • 2 tsp. curry powder
  • 1 tsp. sugar
  • 3 spring onions, finely sliced
  • 1/3 cup fresh coriander
  • Prawns, Chicken, or tofu (optional)

I regoogled pineapple fried rice adding "simple" in front of it and Everyday Vegetarian Recipes helped me a little bit.  Note: A guy I worked with earlier this year told me that fish sauce is what really makes your pineapple fried rice taste authentic. But, I wasn't going for authenticity. I had two goals: Full tummy. Happy tastebuds. Not necessarily in that order. 

I realize that most of the ingredients above aren't that rare, but I've been terrible about keeping veggie around. I borrowed some of my roommates' onion and mixed together the following ingredients:
  • Canned pineapple tidbits. It was a 20 oz can so I just put some in so it looked like there'd be some in most bites... maybe 8 oz like originally instructed?
  • All the left over rice
  • Enough olive oil to cook the onions and garlic
  • Some onions. I cut until my eyes started to water and my sinuses were acting up so that wasn't long
  • 3 cloves garlic! Yes! One thing right!
  • Chili powder. That's close, right?
  • 2 eggs
  • Handfuls of raisins. Nom nom nom
  • 3 Tbsp. chicken stock [ish]. No really, I had some of this!
  • 2 packets of soy sauce leftover from the Chinese restaurant. Thanks Lindsay & Cam!
  • Salt & Pepper
*Spoiler alert* Before you go using my recipe let me warn you: I get to call this pineapple fried rice because both of those things were involved. This results in the type of dish that you have to blindfold your picky eaters for.  It only tastes a little like what you might have in a restaurant, but it is delicious.

Step 1. Unbury the wok.

My parents let me take one of the woks with me when I moved to NYC. Every time I find an excuse to cook with it I get excited, but you could do this in a large frying pan.

Step 2. Heat the oil in the wok/pan.  Add the garlic, onions and chili powder.  And maybe even some Cumin powder since it's the right color, but you can't find enough uses for it.
Step 3. Beat the eggs separately why that's cooking. Add the egg, but don't let it get omlet-y before adding the rice and mixing.  Stir 'til it's mixed.
Step 4. Add the chicken broth and soy sauce. Add pineapple and raisins.
Step 5. Nom nom nom... nom nom nom... nom nom...
Step 6. Blog.

Surely Tums Will Help

Laying here, in my apartment in New York I had a flashback to the night before I came home from college, at the end of my first year. I laid on the floor of my dorm in Kollen Hall and waited for my friend to call me and tell me where the end of the year track party was.  She never called and eventually I just accepted that I was spending my last night alone.  We were both insecure and so I understood her fear of inviting someone to a place she was probably already having difficulty feeling a part of.  Looking back on it, we were silly, but at the time it seemed to matter.  I spent the rest of the night walking around, trying to soak in the campus. It was late April, early May. The grass was this rich grass green, and it has rained recently and so it felt like a real spring.  I don't remember being hot or cold, but simply craving.  I was craving to be in love with the world as I once had been.  I know this because I wrote it down.  I was also a little afraid to go home.  I didn't have a job lined up and I'm pretty sure I already knew I was about to get broken up with.  It wasn't for another month, but I knew it was coming.  Having a broken heart doesn't just keep you from falling in love with another boy, but keeps you from falling in love with the world.

I healed. It took a long time, but I healed.

Earlier I was talking with a friend about these guys in our lives.  We do this quite a bit.  It's fun... usually.  Often I try to help her work through thoughts about her love life and the questions I ask her to answer, I ask myself. It's good for growth.  It's nice to have friends like this.  I was telling her how something incredibly [seemingly] insignificant made me cry last night.  And I talked about falling.  Sometimes, by the time a relationship ends, that first part, the part when everything is new and exciting, if a little intimidating, falls away.  But, since this all happened at such an important time in my life, I can bring it to the front of my mind, like I imagine he does in the The Giver... so much so that if I had that power, someone else could feel it too.  I don't normally record those feelings in public domain.  It's dangerous. You never know who'll read them or misinterpret them. But, why is that enough to stop me?  I want to remember what that feels like.  It's awesome. It doesn't have to necessarily be falling in love, but the realization that you and someone else both think the other is great!  It's exciting and depending on who you are, it may cause you to act incredibly silly.  That's typically me.  Then again, a lot of things bring out my silly side.  My brother knew something up was up when I got in the car.  I seriously spent the entire spring break, and a good amount of time after I returned to school, high as a fucking kite, sans drugs.  I couldn't stop smiling and my insides felt like they were constantly injected with energy.  When I think about that too much I want nothing more than to fall in love again just so I have someone new to associate it with, who reciprocates it.

That's essentially verbatim to what I told my friend.  I then followed it up with a retraction because I have jobs to apply for.  I can't take risks with my heart right now.  A broken heart keeps me in bed longer than the flu.

But, it's still sort of fun to remember... remember having your heart jump when the phone rings and trying to not talk your friends' ears off about thing that seem so mundane to them. 

I was going to give you more detail and then I realized... a have a silver notebook.   And sometimes we don't share details with the world... or even good friends, not because we're scared, but because they're too sacred.  I think those words often get confused. 

As I told Jessica... "Goodnight! I love you! And make good choices... you know, ones that make you happy when you wake up"
I'm really grateful for my good friends. 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

And that You Meant It

"Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past" 

Sometimes I search for my own words in those of others.

"Evidentally I Don't Experience Things As Rationally As You Do," but "G*d damn it felt amazing the days you were happy to see me". So, here it is.  "It's an apology letter to the both of us for how long it took me to let things go. It was not my intention to make such a production of the emptiness between us"

Getting my rent's worth

I am restless, pressured by sinuses and staying awake to shake with slam poets on youtube.  I prefer to write on paper these days, but my words don't seem to read in notebooks either.  I am restless.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Law School

Producer's Perspective April 1, 2011

The blogs don't necessarily blow my mind every post, but I appreciate the quick read on the train and useful bits of information that help me get a better idea of the industry in the city I'm currently in.  Yesterday's blog provided a much needed reminder.

Monday, March 28, 2011

futuring's travel arrangments

Count Down!

1 day: Spur-of-the-moment trip to DC! Yay for escapes!
5 days: Cast Party
3 days and 3 weeks: Florida for my Uncle's wedding
2 days and 5 weeks: Ohio to pick up my car to drive to Michigan to pick up Jackie to drive to the other side of the state to celebrate Love, also known as... Amy & Nick getting marrieeeed!
5 days and 22 weeks: Anna Jo & Jeff's wedding, which means lots of family and dancing and silliness and, you know, general happiness.

College kids are posting spring break pictures.  I don't bother to look at most of them, but the track ones pull on special heart strings. Oh, I miss that world!  This past week all I wanted to do was run a speedy steeple chase race.  I might not be in speedy shape, but there's no steeple pit for me even if I were still lean.  During college I didn't realize it, but I planned/participated in some incredibly college-y spring breaks.  None of them were particularly alcohol-driven, but every other characteristic was there.  I think I didn't fully acknowledge how awesome and adventurous they were because I was lucky and they were on the cheap.   My freshman and sophomore years I went to Florida, South Carolina, Georgia with the track team.  My freshman year I even went to Disney World 
and that was the only major cost. My junior year I was abroad and got to visit Paris, followed by Rennes where Amy was. And my senior year I flew to Texas and spent time in Austin, Georgetown, and Houston drinking a little, followed by warm fuzzies, wine & PB&J, followed by kayaking with my brother, followed by time with one of the most reliable friends in my life, followed by more brother time. It was pretty much perfect.

I miss spring break.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Grown-up Goal

Goal for this upcoming year:

Develop the ability to separate work and outside life

                                                                             least a little.

I know this is a lifelong project and people in every pursuit struggle with it, but I'd like to struggle less.  My sister visited this weekend.   I would love to spend more time with her regularly, but with our schedules, our commitments, and our our geographical locations, it's not possible. So, when we plan well and she spends the money to fly to the city for just a couple of days that I'm supposed to have "off" I want to spend as much time as possible with her.  However, I spent a large portion of the time being upset with work related emails.  The less urgent things were put on hold. I completed most of those tasks this afternoon, with no negative impact on anyone or anything. However, some emails pushed to the top of the priority list.  Yet, I don't respond positively to emails written passive aggressively or condescendingly... or when they're just plain mean.  In order to respond in a constructive manner I need time to decompress and process. Afterwards I will dedicated a section of time to carefully chose my words. I can't do that in the middle of bridesmaids dress shopping or dinner with friends or at 3 am when I have been, for some reason or another, actually sleeping for the couple of hours prior.

So, perhaps, I will try to fully embrace the idea of closing out the email window.  I will only check my emails at specific times of day.  While my life may continue to change the times when that can happen, I'll figure it out.  But what about the phone?  If I ignore texts and calls, how will I know when something is urgent?  Some people only call when it's urgent, but most of the time it's not.  I also like to be incredibly accessible to my long-distance friends.   Yet, I know I should, and would like to, occasionally, be able to give complete focus to the people I'm with.  I want to be mentally present when physically present.

Anyone have any advice on this?  I've read quite a few books on how to do it, but how do I do it and still be regarded as a prompt, easy to access person?   I've tried a few methods, but I'm having trouble developing a system I can stick to.  It'll be a process.  Where to start? 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

rawr. dinosaur.

Don't mind me. I'll be back eventually. My sister is visiting and I'm having a wonderful time with her.

Other than that I'm just trying my best to be resilient.   It's one of my favorite words and a way I'm trying to be.  Sticks and stones will break my bones, but what is that saying... fake it 'til you make it?


Friday, March 18, 2011

sunshine and meh

I ate lunch today on my fire escape. Fabulous! The sunshine, the light breeze... the world feels beautiful. I had intended to picnic down near the theatre, but I got too hungry so I decided to eat uptown.  I was going to go down to the river, but I was too tired from my run to walk down and find a spot, so I just stepped out my window instead.  We have trees.

I've also decided that people who smoke pot around areas typically used for exercise infuriate me.  I only ran 4 miles today and over half of it I was surrounded by the smell of pot.  In general I usually take the "your body, your choice" perspective, but when you're smoking on a path where people are running, biking, walking, etc. you are affecting their bodies.  Sinuses discourage steady breathing, which discourages steady running.  To irritate those sinuses even more is cruel.

I cannot wait for my sister to be here tomorrow!  I need sister time. 

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Not All Who Wander


It's a common misconception of people new-ish to an area that if someone asks them for directions it means they look like they live there.  I'm not sure about other places, but in New York, it really just means that the person's lost and you aren't scary.


Saturday, March 5, 2011

You Can Do It [put your - into it]

I did it.  My goal for this week was to abandon time and distance expectations [as usual] and run three times this week.   Baby steps back to those 50+ mile weeks. So, Tuesday, Thursday and today [Saturday] I arranged my days so I could run.  Were my days a little more rushed? Yes.  Did the chaos of the days limit the time of my runs? Kind of.  But, today ended the week with a semi-quality 5 miler... so I'm not complaining.  Starting from Leonard Street and slowly making my way back to E. Harlem helped keep my interest.  Variety's important in every aspect of life: running, shampooing, loving, theatring etc. It takes more than a chip clip to keep those things from getting stale.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Lately I've felt that my stories and experiences are becoming less and less unique and therefore less and less necessary to share with the blogosphere.  We all meet people. We all have our heart broken [some people by things other than relationships]. We all feel inadequate some days and [hopefully] as though we're fulfilling some great need other days.  Of course, this blog was also a method of sharing with friends, but things haven't really changed: I'm still here, still tumbling through a bunch of emotions, searching with my eyes closed.

The 6-10ish $1 seeds and baby pots I bought the other day are the best investment I've made in awhile.  They're [almost- darn cilantro...] all growing. The little bits of green help me forget that it's still cold and that I'm feeling... a lot of things.

There's a lot of thinking, while typing, hence the ... and , .

That said, last weekend I went to my best friend's wedding and felt incredibly "right".  While I could  never live there, as the conservative nature of Henderson, Nebraska would eventually get under my skin and I'm simply not at the same stage as Schae, the community that surrounds her, that instantly brought me in, filled a gap.  It's a gap that I often surface over and, whether I realize it or not, ignore.  I'm too tough to let it get me. I'm a woman, an individual, and capable of anything.  Rawr.  I won't crumble for simple needs any more. Or, at least, that's where I am today.  Two weeks ago I suddenly became incredibly emotional when out with a group of friends for no simple reason. I immediately needed to go home and crawl in bed.  The next day a friend called and asked if he could visit that day. I gladly said yes and while I still had to focus on work, he gave me the recharge I needed.

This past weekend was another renewal, but also a gentle shake from a slumber I hadn't acknowledged I was in.
I'm beginning to think that we don't come into this world alone... or leave it alone.  Perhaps this is true physically, but just because my body is made of dust, doesn't mean anything else is.  We come in this world with a metaphysical love around us and regardless of what happens while we're here, we leave with it too. Or, at least, this is what I believe today.  Perhaps it's for my own comfort that I believe it.  Or, perhaps, I'm right.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Just Sayin'

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

Monday, February 21, 2011

On Bed by Ten

I make taking note of moments, events, to dos, and seemingly new developments a priority.  However, recently I have lacked the brain power to process the trajectories of the days. In other words, I haven't blogged much of February.  I am blessed enough that I am currently part of many fantastic projects, but that results in a lot of tasks to complete.  Some tasks are fantastic; some tasks are...

Most days I have managed the check lists fairly well. I have accepted that there will always be more to do, but if I get stuck on that, I will not be as productive as I need to be. The tyranny of now pressures, but it exists for a reason.  The learning curve has sharp edges.  Last week, by itself, would have been exhausting, but coming into it slightly worn made it that much more difficult.  To claim that there was nothing to be thankful for would be to lie, but I was fighting a funk that had as many cures as a common cold: sleep, nutrition, and positive energy.

I went out Friday night in hopes of letting go of some of the stress. I switched the focused and held onto the enthusiasm for a couple of hours. But, once I started to feel emotions that I had forgotten existed, I knew it was time to go home.  I called friends for support and perspective, and eventually fell asleep. Note, I was home before 11pm.  Apparently I needed the rest. Yet, I woke up the next morning and still felt tense.

A friend came to visit.  He needed to get out of his town.  I needed to get out of my head.   He made the spur-of-a-moment decision that satisfied both of our needs.  It's amazing what the blessing of a person who really knows you can do for your weekend.  He spent Saturday and Sunday here.  I mostly worked on my projects: went to meetings and rehearsals, printed scripts, interviewed board ops, thought about light plots. Yet, the change of energy that surrounded me and the low expectations we promise each other, have brought me to a new place to start the week.

I'm still stressed and I'm just as tired, but we talked about things other than work and I've been reminded that my work isn't the end of the world or the beginning of it.   It is, however, important. It is how I spend my time, my life.  It compliments how quite a few other people spend their time and their lives as well.  So, I'll continue to stay positive, passionate and dedicated, but that's it.  As I once needed to discover with running, there is purpose and self-definition outside of work and outside of theatre.   What that means today and tomorrow as a less abstract concept is still to be discovered. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

East River Runs and nom nom noms

Things that were fabulous about V(agina/alentine) Day 2011
Staying up late into the wee hours of the morning of the 14th talking to a friend
Sleeping in
Waking up to the beautiful sunshine and 50 degree temperatures
Going for a fabulous run and being reminded of spring breaks of past: sunshine, almost warm temps, and wind... lots of wind
Getting things done for MACBETH
Cameron being excited about cooking dinner for Lindsay
Going to a rehearsal for WOYZECK with Sally
Laughing at WOYZECK rehearsal

Things that I'm looking forward for February 15th day 2011
Marked down Valentine's Day Chocolate.

I haven't been coupled many Valentine's Day, but I haven't been sad [m]any of them either.  I think February 15th has a lot to do with that. How can you not be thankful for chocolate on sale? 

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Head of a House Hold

Every time I fill out the tax paperwork for a new job I find myself asking them what you need to be to be the "Head of a Household".  No one else is the head of my household because I'm the only one in it so...

But, today, while scanning over the IRS website I discovered the following about 1/5 the way down the page:

Head of Household

You may be able to file as head of household if you meet all the following requirements.
  1. You are unmarried or “considered unmarried” on the last day of the year.
  2. You paid more than half the cost of keeping up a home for the year.
  3. A “qualifying person” lived with you in the home for more than half the year (except for temporary absences, such as school). However, if the “qualifying person” is your dependent parent, he or she does not have to live with you. See Special rule for parent , later, under Qualifying Person.

    Note: I am not qualified to give tax advice. I simple browsed the page and have copied and pasted a simple section. Please consult the IRS or your accountant for this information. 

    That said, I don't meet qualification for #3 so I guess I'm not the Head of a Household yet. 

Friday, February 4, 2011


"God is dead"

"Nietzsche is dead"

Monday, January 31, 2011

If That's What You're Into

I can't remember if it was during high school or junior high and whether it was Eminem or Dashboard (probably Dashboard), but one day my sister came into our room and told me I couldn't expect to feel better if I was constantly listening to music that reinforced how I was feeling.   Explosions in the Sky, Bob Dylan, Bright Eyes, and Iron and Wine are some of my favorites to turn on when I need to zone and just breathe, but when I'm trying to zone out of the moping it doesn't have quite the results I need.   I have a couple of songs I typically use instead such as "I like Giants" or "Superstar". I ran one of my best college race with Matthew Santos's chorus on repeat in my head.  Sometimes you just need more positivity or hilarity in your music. Ie, today's funk was broken by my favorite Flight of the Conchords song. However, I'm overusing the same songs and I'm afraid I'm developing a slight immunity. I need recommendations. What are some of your favorite funk-breaking songs? 

Vacation to the Kitchen

Spring, Summer, Fall... I don't care. I'm just tired of winter. I don't like to be cold all the time and it's a good thing I have tall ceilings because I'm getting cabin fever. It's 1:36 pm and I've spent a grand total of 25 minutes out of my bed.  My bed's also my office and if I could write it off on my taxes I would. Actually...

I need to go to the library and get a tax book this week.

What it's like to be Alone

Every once in awhile you just need to stare at the ceiling

If I have the money I'm going to paint the next place I live in.
I should have brought the stars from home. I forgot about them, but when I saw them at Christmas I missed them.

"Did you know I miss you?"

Sunday, January 30, 2011


"You like basketball?"

I think I confused a lot of people by my attendance at the Knicks vs. Heat game this past week.  If the game is good, I do like to watch basketball, but I didn't go because I like basketball. I went because I don't believe in passing up adventures.  I wouldn't have and couldn't have paid for an actual ticket to Thursday's game, but if I could have, it would have been worth it. It was a fabulous game- plenty of talent and audience to observe.  It was a close, fairly well-played game so the 48 minutes that took two and a half hours kept my attention for a surprisingly large portion of it.

I have been asked how I ended up at the Knicks game, the story goes like this:

The cast was workshopping "Macbeth" in the basement when the buzzer buzzed.  Assuming another designer arrived, I let buzzed open the major door. When I opened the apartment door there were two boys with backpacking backpacks and suitcases. "Are you here for "Macbeth"?" It was a dumb question for me to ask, but necessary... you never know.

I found out later that this is not the first time people have arrived thinking their apartment is a hostel.  In 2011, and earlier, guidebooks this apartment [not my own] is listed as a hostel.  A few years ago it was, but the guidebooks aren't checking their sources and the change hasn't been noted.  The snow had begun to fall, the start of Thursdsay's storm so I invited the boys in, out of the cold for a minute.  They were both French.  One was studying in Toronto and the other was just visiting.  They had just stepped off a 10 hour Megabus to NYC from Toronto.   I have a soft spot for Megabus riders so I called a couple other hostels in their guidebook to check for open beds. I found them a place on the UES[ish] with 2 open beds all weekend and wrote out directions on how to get there- explaining the E wasn't running that night so they had to take a slightly complicated route.  They were thankful and offered to take me for a drink.  I said sure. Of course, I was working so I couldn't then, but they were going to be around for a couple of days.  Youssef then asked me if I played basketball. I informed him I was probably the worst basketball player ever [although, I will note now that I had more speed than a lot of the other sixth graders and was taller, thus diligent about rebounds].  They had an extra ticket to the game. Apparently you have to buy an even numbers of tickets- either 2 or 4. Their friend who was coming in from Poughkeepsie the next day was also attending so that resulted in a loner ticket.  So, I said yes and we had a great time!  I really wish these guys lived in NYC because it was one of the most relaxed, fun times I've had in awhile.  I felt a little bad because Youssef is a huge LeBron fan and he didn't have the best game, but it was a great experience all the same.   Living in NYC and being from the Cleveland area, I was quite content with the Knicks Win. Plus, I wore, as voted upon on FB, my 1993 New York Knicks Taz t-shirt.

Thanks to Album 57, Picture 19 for the above photo. 

Bonus story:
Sometimes I get tired of people [myself included] saying "only in New York" when it's not always true. That said, on our slow walk down the steps at Madison Square Garden the reasonably-orthodox-appearing, black pant, white button down wearing Jews yelling "Go New York, Go New York, Go New York, Go!" for about 20 minutes straight in a manner that usually requires more alcohol, wearing their free Knicks caps on top of their wide-brimmed black hats is something that stunned the "Frenchies" (as they referred to themselves) and I can't imagine happening in many other places.  I laughed a little cause the guys were being silly, but I had forgotten that was unusual until one of the guys informed me that the orthodox Jews in France are usually more reserved. Yeah, most other places in America too... New York's kind of awesome that way.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Nom nom nom

While looking over websites with cheap recipes I found a recipe for a bulgur-cashew veggie burger and thought it seemed simple enough.  I went to the grocery story and low and behold there was no bulgur at the East Harlem Target.  Instead of searching elsewhere I did a quick search for other veggie burger recipes and found that couscous is often used as the grain.  I was also buying bread crumbs for another recipe so thought I could use those if need be.  The first recipe required cashews, but another recipe suggested sunflower seeds. The container of sunflower seeds was $4 cheaper so that decision was easy.  Some recipes called for lentils and some for pinto beans so I went with the one that would take up less space it the cupboard; there are limits.

So, home I went with a variety of ingredients that fit no recipes, but I figured it could only go so wrong.

I bought: Lentils, Sunflower Seeds, Couscous, Bread Crumbs, Eggs

I had: A tiny bit of left-over uncooked spinach, Garlic [that was added to the second batch], Onion, French Dried Onion [for the second batch when I ran out of onion], Frozen peas, corn, carrots, and beans, Cumin, Salt, Pepper

I cooked the couscous as directed and boiled the lentils.  After pureeing the lentils, an egg and sunflower seeds in the ever-so-fabulous Magic Bullet until they were "a paste I added them to the couscous.  I mixed in veggies and seasonings.  Since I had cooked the whole box of couscous I just added bits of each thing until it looked like I could make patties.   I made 4 and refrigerated them, waiting impatiently for them to be cool; I didn't want to use up the rest of the couscous until I knew they tasted deliciously.

The "recipe" was a success, but needed a little something so I added my safety ingredient: garlic to the second batch. By this time I was so full from snacking on the couscous and the first burger that I decided against making one from the second recipe...  I'm optimistic for tomorrow.

Nom, nom, nom <3

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Divine Intervention

Given the consistent changes of the details of my belief system, I try not to go "all god-y" on people too often. However, sometimes I feel it can't be contributed to much else.  Okay, so my vision of "God" isn't a man in the clouds, sitting in a straight back, but semi-fluffy chair with a little man [aka "son"] sitting by his right side.  My understanding of this omniscience is something less tangible.  And this graceful-exhalation-of-love has a way of making things work out.  Often it seems more like coincidence, time, others, etc, but every once in a while you get a blatant, in-your-face: stop worrying, I'll take care of it.  These moments, like marathons, often make me unexpectedly emotional. I was talking with a close friend of mine who was offered an interview out of the blue from someone she only sort of knew.  She was offered the job today. It was well needed and well deserved.  And yet, it doesn't make sense. Why would this guy have been moved to tell her about the opening to begin with? He didn't know her and I don't think he knew her needs. It wasn't directly related to the job she was currently working. There are a lot of unanswered questions.

There's a lot of good in this world. 

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

How are you?

Weeks ago I ordered ink 40/41. Eventually it arrived and my printer wouldn't accept it. Apparently it needed to be 40/41 fine ink... "the beauty's in the details".  I gave in and went to Best Buy were I paid $55 that I don't have for more ink.  I began printing and everything came out tilted, with an excess of blue ink in one column.  A few paper jams later I discovered a USB drive had dropped back where the printer paper sits and was handicapping the paper rollers. I removed the USB drive and printed the Fiscal Sponsorship Program Manual. I ran out of paper and began printing on the back of messed up magic sheets. Eventually I ran out of messed up Magic Sheets...

at that time I posted this blog thinking it was an accurate example of how my days go whenever I tried to get things done.

However, a few hours and confidence-boosting conversations later it occurred to me that perhaps I could print on legal paper. Surprisingly it worked and I have been utilizing paper from the 60-cent legal pads I found on sale the other day.

I suppose this is a better depiction of how my life is going.

On a different note: I have a lot of fabulous work, but I need a job.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Five Years

Hopefully within the next five years I will be at a place on the career spectrum where I'll be able to laugh at myself for this... because getting nervous about changing just one cue of someone else's is ridiculous.

note: I also got nervous on day 1, rightfully slow.  Learning curve was a little steeper than it should've been.


PS. I should take this opportunity to tell you that while tech makes you tired, when it's with great people, it makes my heart optimistic about the "rightness" of my choices. Thank you, world.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Is it spring yet?

Wake me up when we get there.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Grown-Up Advice

If you don't like numbers or accounting and balancing your checkbook isn't the highlight of your week, you shouldn't be a freelancer. No matter what you chose to do with your life, you need to keep track of your money, but it's extra tricky when you're not when it's going to show up...

not to even go into the taxes...

Friday, January 7, 2011

Faces Lit up by Laptops

While at Starbucks writing a damage control email between meetings, I had the girl across the table from me read my email to make sure it wasn't too offensive.  She said it seemed fine, but didn't say much else. A few moments later she began skyping... first language is definitely not english.

Then the middle-aged couple who've been talking about his frustration with his kids from his first marriage not visiting him in prison began making out.

Sometimes, I wish I was less attentive to my surroundings.
Luckily the guy at the next table is shaking his head with me and I'm picking up stories left and right.

Only 49 more minutes to try to focus on my work until my next meeting. Woo!

Monday, January 3, 2011


When I grow up I want to be a...

This answer changes sometimes, but in many ways I want to be a producer. In many other ways I want to be an artistic director/dramaturg/lighting designer/electrician/event planner/organizational guru/ assistant.

I have to explain about half of those answers to people, but today I pass to Oscar Hammerstein to explain to us what a producer does:

A producer is a rare, paradoxical genius: hard-headed, soft-hearted, cautious, reckless, a hopeful innocent in fair weather, a stern pilot in stormy weather, a mathematician who prefers to ignore the laws of mathematics and trust intuition, an idealist, a realist, a practical dreamer, a sophisticated gambler, a stage-struck child.  That’s a producer. 
                    - Oscar Hammerstein II  

 What else does a producer do?  A few producers give us the answers because everyone's a little bit different. I want about 70% of their jobs.

Two Characters Talking About a Third

Pet Peeve 53: When people type in all CAPS while criticizing
Exception to the rule: Anything that is written well enough to get the point across while giving enough disclaimers to not leave the recipient of the email/memo crying

Some good advice on writing

Sunday, January 2, 2011


I love tea.
Winter and sleep-deprivation-caused-sore-throats call for it.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Wake up feeling New

It amazes me how different runs can be.  I ran five miles in Central Park on the 30th. This morning I ran four along the East River.  With the encouragement of other runners and bikers, the five miles felt natural and my muscles believed in what I was doing, despite the ice and hills.  During this morning's run I consistently reminded myself that I just needed to log a little bit of time.  I had nothing to prove and the bland responses from the majority of the others on the path were just part of the experience, or not part of the experience. You have the choice to remove yourself.  Regardless, it was a wonderful run because of the way it left me feeling afterwards.  A little bit of yoga and some Faith [thanks Faith!] inspired free weights and my body feels more awake than tired.  All in all, this transition from 2010 to 2011 has been fabulous.  

In order to keep from getting overwhelmed or disappointed I try to regard every holiday, with the exception of family focused ones, as just another day, but one with a theme.  I like theme parties so that's usually successful.  Even just trying to plan the 31st I started to get fussy, but Cameron and Lindsay are fabulous roommates and let everything stay low key.  
We had three rules: 
          1. No Throwing Up
          2. No Crying
          3. Low Expectations
I can proudly say that all three of those rules/goals were accomplished.   Cameron, Lindsay, Andre and I hung out around our place for awhile, getting ready [thanks Mom for the dress!] and drinking what we already owned and didn't cost an arm and a leg.  Last night a large portion of Manhattan bars were charging $25-$150 to get into.  We stopped over at a friend of Andre's who lives a few streets down and I semi-incoherently discussed public health with a girl named Bridget who is pursuing a Masters in it at the London School of Economics.  I wish I we could be real friends because I was just a little inspired by it all.  Every population is under-informed about something and with all the research we do, we need to communicate it.  But, for the point of this entry, I digress. 

Around 11 we headed to midtown and got out around 51st, knowing we couldn't get in near actual Times Square. We ended up in Central Park in this perfect Gazebo.  We could hear the Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block singing and still got a sense of the craziness, but without the pushing and actual crazies.  We were in the ideal location for the post-countdown fireworks. Sitting in this gazebo with friends, surrounded by trees surrounded by city, looking at all these people bustling about, minding and not minding the snow and each other... I couldn't have asked for a better place to be.

We headed towards the village and decided to go home instead.  For the case of my pocketbook it was probably the best decision.  We said Happy New Year's to people on the street and they joyfully said it in return.  There are certain things that just make me love holidays in the city; friendly strangers is at the top of the list. 

I snuggled up in my new pajamas [thanks, Anna Jo], woke up a few times throughout the night, and finally got out of bed around 8am, the earliest I've been up in days. I felt good. I made some coffee for Andre and myself and sat on the couch for a bit. Andre left for work, I did the dishes, swept, folded up the inflatable mattress and restored the apartment to something close to a pre-New Year's look. I made my bed, went for a run, did some yoga and lifting. I had breakfast. Cameron and Lindsay took out the recyclables.  Things feel pretty right.  Thank you, world.