Saturday, March 15, 2014

Major Life Decisions

Things happen to you, around you, despite you so often that when the choice is yours, it's incredibly daunting.

No choice is obviously right. Where is that pull I was relying on?

Tuesday, November 5, 2013


Another summer and fall have passed without camping. My friend, Kate's recent blog post makes me envious of that:

Her reflections on coddling herself also give me pause. I have so many luxuries and needless items. I may very well use them in shows and as inspirations and -- so very many legitimate excuses. Of course, you have to take care of yourself, but what does that really mean? It all depends who you are. I'm thankful that I have never fallen victim to having a 9-bottle face cleansing regiment, but I also don't have particularly skin. Where would having perfectly clear skin get me? Wasn't it better to use that $20 that week to buy someone else dinner or to pay down that loan just a bit?

In reality, I didn't nor have I ever had the money for a 9-bottle face cleansing regiment. And the month I used up my savings I didn't have anyone to go camping with and when I did, I no longer had the money.

This world is a strange place.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Pity Party

In the past two weeks I've received a large gash and bump on my forehead via edison cable, a deep cut on my finger from a little metal on a pin spot, and ended up with a blood-drawing splinter from the wood on the top of a scaffolding (that continued to hurt all day because it's too deep to removed.

I would say I shouldn't leave home, but I just gashed open the bottom of my big toe by slicing it on an over-the-door hanger I'd temporarily set on the floor. I didn't even know that callous could be cut through...

Commence pity party at 432 Rogers.

Monday, October 28, 2013

If I ever get married

If I ever get married, I want to play this song at some point. I'd say when we're walking out, but that might be too slow.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Theaters should have apps with their playbills

When you move you get rid of things. It just happens. You look at your belongings as they pile up and wonder when you got all of this stuff. You also wonder if you need it. I move enough that I do a cleanse fairly often. As a result most of it I will need, just not until the season changes or an adventure happens.

There are some things I don't need to keep. As much as it pains me to say it, this includes playbills. It is fun to walk down memory lane, but I have so many memory lanes paved for me, I need to limit them. Unless I retire next year I'll never have time to walk down them all. ...that's a joke.

Anyways, I don't want to lose them altogether. I just want them to stop taking up space, so until the internet becomes too crowded, I'm going to write them here. THey won't include all the information, obvious. But, I'll trust that somewhere on the internet I can find who all the dancers were in that musical I saw with that girl I knew when I was young. That was my imitation of myself at 80. Oh dear... that was a weird thought. Confession. I don't know if I want to live to 80. That's a lot of loss to incur, unless The Monkey House comes true. I've been reading a lot of Vonnegut...

The playbills meeting their demise this round include:
Radio City Christmas Spectacular Starring the Rockettes. My former roommate, Lindsay had free tickets so we went. The Rockettes were pretty cool. We could've done without the 3D glasses, but we understand not all kids have our standards. It was also really weird to be at a performance where people were allowed to video and take pictures. I hated that. I hope it never becomes the norm. Put your screen down and watch, my friends. Exhausting. And they make it hard to look at the real people.

Brilliant Traces I hate to admit this, but I can't figure out when this was from. Did I see this play? I don't remember much these days though, so I'm not surprised.

Sweeney Todd Instead of flowers I brought single bottles of beer to the actresses I knew in this show. I don't know why I thought that was a great plan, but it was nice all the same. It was a fun show to see and one of those theatre knowledge thigns I'd been missing

Hamlet and Taming of the Shrew presented by the Plimoth Players this summer. Okay, I'm only getting rid of one of these programs because it was a recent enough show to keep. Also, my name is referenced in one of the bios and I don't know when else that's happened to me.. so I felt pretty cool.

Love, Loss, and What I Wore A WONDERFUL show I saw with my good friend, Rachel Anderson. We both cried our fair shares and missed the beautiful women in our lives instantly. We're some blessed people.

The Bald Soprano at The Pearl Theatre. This was one of the many wonderful shows Sally has invited me to see. It was a fun way to spend an evening. Also, the post opening snacks were scrumptious!

Stomp Jesse and I saw this together during the Summer of 2011 after Blue Man did a ticket exchange. It looked just like the video from elementary school music class. We watched it in the 5th or 6th grade. I have an unusually clear visual of sitting in Shupe and being fascinated by the idea.

Leap of Faith LeeAnn, a friend from work, got me 2 tickets to see Leap of Faith. I bought a third and went with Anna Jo and Jeff when they visited. I always like going to shows when family members visit. I like it best when I can treat. There's a lot a life in theater will stop you from doing, so I like to share and explore as much of it with friends and family as I can

"DeerHunter" release party. I went to a cd release party. It happened once. Let that be noted.

Tell the Way at St. Ann's Warehouse. That happened. They make beautiful programs. I need to up my assistant skills.

Brooklyn Philharmonic as part of the Bryant Park Fall Festival. They were lovely. I went with Cameron & Lindsay. I love Bryant Park's programming. They do an amazing job.

Lysistrata Jones. Not a bad Lysistrata remake, quite honestly. Also, way cuter and with a lot more talent than the posters let on. The posters seemed far too niche-y for the giant house the show was played in.

The Dudleys! was a cute show that was part of the Dream Up Festival. One of the talent management agency's clients I was working with was also in it. I think with a higher budget and more workshopping it could be a really good show. It was a great beginning.

Seymour or The Last Fallen Angel was also part of the Dream Up Festival. I wish it had a bigger audience. I was working box office for the festival and they had an audience of 4 so they had me sit in. It was funny and interesting. The problem was it was such a small cast and production team that it's difficult to create a buzz.

Spiderman Turn off the Dark I think we know that I saw it. It would've been better if I'd had had no expectations. Putting things on Broadway with names and hoopla makes it difficult to be anything. I agreed with the press about the set looking like cardboard cut-ups. Of course, that was the idea... sigh

The Frick Collection. I went to a museum with Kathryn, the assistant costume designer for the show I produced February '11. I wish we theater people had more time and know-how for how to develop friendships. It was really great and I think if we were to have meet in college or anywhere other than here we would've kept doing awesome things. That said, The Frick Collection was pretty solid.

Brief Encounter I have the playbill... I googled it to make sure I saw it. Wow, 2010 was so long ago:
I did see it and it was quite aesthetically pleasing. I'd like to see the movie too. I imagine it's a very different experience. They used a lot of the stage. It was very intriguing.

Extraction I went to a play reading that was hosted by a producer whose blog I used to follow. The play was okay. I always want more out of readings. I don't really like music stands and binders.

Sound and Vision: At War was a really cool performance at the Gerald W. Lynch Theater. Visual and performance art seem like far more practical ways of discussing war (compared to our usual discussions).

Spoon River Anthology... an 100 person adaptation done by a graduate student at Columbia his final year. Having a cast of 100 is one solid way to sell your houses. I went to see Sloan in it. I loved parts of it and felt like a lot of it was more exploratory than final product. I don't know how everyone else felt, but being sponsored by the University I felt good about that.

Middletown felt like a modern twist on Our Town. Also, I'm tempted to save this program as a reminder to go see things at the Vineyard. I love that theater.

Washington Walks. I don't remember going on any Washington Walks, but I do miss my DC friends.

That's it for this round! So much more to rid myself of!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


I know I'm not truly back to blogging as the time just isn't there, but there are some things that need documenting.

I am, however, moving. In the time between high school and college graduation, I moved my main belongings 13 times, 14 if you count the month in Czech Republic.

Since graduating from Hope I have:
moved back to Ohio
moved to East Harlem (New York, NY)
moved to South Slope (Brooklyn, NY)
and this Sunday... to Red Hook (more Brooklyn, NY... it's a big place)

Hopefully someday in the next 5 years I'll have one of those homes you stay in. But for now I'm moving into a 3 story building. Our entrance goes to the second and third floors. There are four awkward and nice boys on that floor. On my floor there are four bedrooms, one bathroom, and one common area with the kitchen and living space. There'll be me, 2 girls and one guy. I have yet to meet the guy, but he sounds pretty alright. It'll be an adventure. I'm a little nervous to begin! It's the first time I've lived with people I didn't really know since college. Wish me luck!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Father's Day! I say with ridiculous pride that my Dad is the guy in the overalls. The picture was taken just a little over a decade before I was born! Have a wonderful day celebrating the men who are great Dads! Mine is obviously the best, but I'm sure yours is a close second. With countless memories of kayaking, digging up worms for fishing off the pier, drinking chocolate martinis, and our four and a half hour talks driving to/from college, I couldn't be more thankful.


I just listened to this graduation speech. It was an alright speech, with two of the most valuable points being:

1. Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your list and call yourself worldly.
I think a lot of people need that advice and I'm sure I've been a part of that group at one time or another. I look at my world map on my wall and want to go to all of the countries so I can shade them in and say I've been everywhere. I dated a guy whose friend had the goal of having sex with a woman in every country. In case you are wondering, the woman didn't have to be from the country, he could bring her there. Anyways, I understand we all have different goals, but I can't help but hope, for him, that he got even more out of the trip. There's more to say about 'being somewhere to be there', rather than to accomplish an empty objective, but I'm no expert.

2. Read.
For the past few months I've been casually dating a wonderful guy. While we're still dating, we've recently discovered that we may be on slightly different pages in terms of relationship needs. As I've evaluated what's been and what I need I think of more and more wonderful effects he's had on my being. He, knowingly or unknowingly, has helped me eat healthier and perhaps even more beneficial, he's given me some great books to get me back on the reading kick. In the past three weeks I've read Graham Greene's "The Quiet American" and "The End of the Affair". They were both absolutely wonderful and I'm still thinking about "The End of the Affair," though I read it first. Since I only borrowed two Greene's I decided to go for something I thought would be lighter next. I'd brought back one of Roald Dahl's chapter books from home. I don't know how I hadn't read "Going Solo," but it'd been sitting on my bookshelf, waiting for quite some time. It's been the perfect subway book, divided up into adventures. I'd recommend it for a great escape read! While it was lighter, I still found myself tearing up just a little bit at the end. I think reading helps me be more present when I'm not reading. It gives me a genuine retreat from my thoughts. Many people use music, but I tend to find music reinforces where I was already at. Instead, books help me run away to someone else's life or perspective. Sure, I over-identified with aspects of both Greene's books, but the added perspectives were incredibly valuable.

So, more aspects are added to SarCare every day. Some days I do well on lots of fronts, some days I only do well one way or another, but I'm still at it. I ran this morning, did my best to eat responsibly (minus the Mud Mocha... oh, Mud Truck <3). Tomorrow's another day and every day takes energy. Good luck with yours!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Not a Couple, Just a Couple of Readers

I happen to think the two of us being our own mini-book club is one of the cutest things I've ever been a part of.

Read: "The End of the Affair" by Graham Greene. Then, let's talk!

Friday, June 1, 2012

One Day at a Time

I'm an emotional eater. I've finally begun to manage the typical day-to-day emotions better, but the bigger emotions result in consuming comfort foods. I also find myself staying up late when I'm emotion-filled. I begin to think I can plan and analyze myself away from hurt, fear, or disappointment. Results vary.

That said, after waking up earlier than planned, I had time for a run. I ran 40 minutes this morning to start off my day. I suppose that also contributes to this overwhelming tiredness I am currently feeling.

Before I go to bed, I want to share with you a quote from a book I read during my senior seminar. I included it in my "Life View" paper 2 years ago. I stumbled upon the paper on my computer as I was looking for pictures of my Grandpa. My favorite picture of my Grandpa and me was the top picture on my cover page.

We were being silly. We did that a lot. I think the picture captures the idea pretty well. Grandpa tended to believe you shouldn't pose for pictures, but a smile or mocking-over-grin happened if you kept the camera around enough.

"From his parents Paul learned the enduring lesson that love can only be applied person-to-person"
(Yancey 75)