About a year ago I was having a conversation with a friend about doormen. He wanted to live in a building with a doorman; it would be a sort of mark of success. I am currently working in a building with two entrances and an attendant at each. They sit at their desks, sign in guests, and... say hello sometimes? When I interned here last year I loved talking to the guy at the entrance nearest my work place's elevator. However, this year I avoid the rhythmically uncomfortable conversation that used to ensue while I waited for the elevator. What's changed? I'm not sure, but I do know that I don't think I want to live in a building with a door(wo)man. There are days (particularly mornings) when I don't feel like making small talk about nothing and every person I feel obligated to greet on my way to or from bed just makes me sleepier.
I didn't always feel this way. By most people's standards I'm a "talker".
I think it has something to do with being tired. I have worked every day since August 8th and will continue until Labor Day. Yesterday I started back with DS- so now I work 10am to 4pm Mondays through Fridays too. I am not complaining, per say. I'll be grateful when I'm able to pay my rent and it's a relief to have a job. However, it is going to take some determination and self-discipline to keep myself from getting sick. For whatever reason, I'm nearly convinced less small talk will help.
Sadly, there's also going to be less real talk for the next two weeks too. Sorry to all the messages, emails, and phone calls I haven't been responding to. I write replies in my mind, but often that extra step of fingers to keyboard seems like much more than it is.
Be patient. I'll get life in order again.