Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Grown-up Goal

Goal for this upcoming year:

Develop the ability to separate work and outside life

                                                                             least a little.

I know this is a lifelong project and people in every pursuit struggle with it, but I'd like to struggle less.  My sister visited this weekend.   I would love to spend more time with her regularly, but with our schedules, our commitments, and our our geographical locations, it's not possible. So, when we plan well and she spends the money to fly to the city for just a couple of days that I'm supposed to have "off" I want to spend as much time as possible with her.  However, I spent a large portion of the time being upset with work related emails.  The less urgent things were put on hold. I completed most of those tasks this afternoon, with no negative impact on anyone or anything. However, some emails pushed to the top of the priority list.  Yet, I don't respond positively to emails written passive aggressively or condescendingly... or when they're just plain mean.  In order to respond in a constructive manner I need time to decompress and process. Afterwards I will dedicated a section of time to carefully chose my words. I can't do that in the middle of bridesmaids dress shopping or dinner with friends or at 3 am when I have been, for some reason or another, actually sleeping for the couple of hours prior.

So, perhaps, I will try to fully embrace the idea of closing out the email window.  I will only check my emails at specific times of day.  While my life may continue to change the times when that can happen, I'll figure it out.  But what about the phone?  If I ignore texts and calls, how will I know when something is urgent?  Some people only call when it's urgent, but most of the time it's not.  I also like to be incredibly accessible to my long-distance friends.   Yet, I know I should, and would like to, occasionally, be able to give complete focus to the people I'm with.  I want to be mentally present when physically present.

Anyone have any advice on this?  I've read quite a few books on how to do it, but how do I do it and still be regarded as a prompt, easy to access person?   I've tried a few methods, but I'm having trouble developing a system I can stick to.  It'll be a process.  Where to start? 

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