Thursday, May 28, 2009

Spinning my wheels

I'm not sure if I'm friend sick, a little bit heart sick or just plain tired of spinning my wheels.

I want something this place can't offer. I guessed that before, but this week (I've been here doing nearly nothing, but scrapbooking) has reaffirmed that.
I think things will get better when I get get my head back into theatre-zone.

I just miss something... a lot of somethings.
I miss eating breakfast on the Timmer porch on Sunday mornings. I miss the yellow house. I miss my sophomore year neighbors. I miss escaping to Bristol's room. I miss Tuesdays in London. I miss London. I miss the goats and talking to Henrike. I miss being in love. I miss being 17. I miss running. I miss Amy. I miss Rose and the Rime workshops. I miss going on adventures. I miss meeting new people. I miss having friends within 10 minutes of traveling.

The strange thing is I have hardly taken advantage of being here. Actually, I know it's my own fault. I haven't really done anything. I can do things on my own. It's just disappointing that I have to. I thought I would come home to friends.

But you know, I can walk around barefoot here.
If I ever got off my bum I could run (more than once).
I can go visit my Grandma & Grandpa (I just want to get my scrapbooks done to show them first)

It is not that I'm unhappy. I'm relatively content. I just want a job so I don't feel like I'm bumming. A large part of the reason I was looking forward to coming home was the idea that I might reduce some of my debt.
I hate debt.

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