There is so much more living to do, but I do not mind being here.
I am just beginning to feel motivated and interested again. I don't feel bad about how I have spent this semester, but I did a lot of floating. It feels as though a lot was included, but I remember less of it than any semester past. So much planning for tomorrow was done that it makes it difficult to remember what was happening in the day. I accomplished most of what I wanted to do though.
I had the opportunities to be a part of two different great shows and may have seemed partially removed, but managed to learn great amounts. I spent hours filling my housemates' ears with stories and hours laying on their floors to listen. While I am still a little lost as to what my career goal is, I do know more about what I want to contribute to the people I interact with.
I am not done with school though. Tomorrow there is a religion final and a take home essay due. The last of the life view presentations will be presented. These presentations are my favourite. I feel so much closer to the world with every story.
Wednesday I have a paper on Confucius due and my management final. Then, that will be it.
I feel very similar to the way I felt at the end of high school. I am not overly eager to be done. I suppose it is time and I am okay with that, but I will miss this identity. I know I will bring my self along on the upcoming adventures, but there is an identity shaped by the community here that will fade away. That's okay, but the sense of loss is a bit inevitable.
The only time I really felt like leaving was during my freshman year and that feeling disappeared as I began to find my place. I hope I can accomplish everything that my freshman year self was so eager to leave for.
Some days the future feels incredibly unknown...
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