Sunday, December 12, 2010

Another blog inadvertantly about Insecurities

I will have you all know that I made some delicious mint chocolate chip fudge with the correct milk the day after the disaster. My housemates (we are each other's best taste-testers) agreed that I redeemed myself and thoroughly enjoyed a portion of the pan. So, buckeyes and fudge will be taken to the Cookie Exchange tomorrow... here's to hoping no one notices, or at least minds, that they aren't cookies!

CONFESSION: I didn't make cookies for two reasons.

1. I can only think of maaaybe one or two times I've frosted sugar cookies without The Dodge's and it was not nearly as fun.

2. I was/am afraid mine wouldn't be as good as everyone else's. I know, I know, that's pathetic, but I didn't want my cookies to be the last ones on the plate. I'd rather be picked last in kickball. Okay, that wouldn't happen... baseball! I know I'm terrible at baseball, but I like to pretend I'm a good baker. I just don't have that "go to" cookie recipe that half of the rest of the world's bakers seem to have and thus I reverted back to things I know I wouldn't turn down: buckeyes and fudge. If this wasn't an exchange I probably would've even made puppy chow. I just want to be liked.

In other news, I did pilates and abs today and ran four miles on Friday. I had sorta, kinda promised myself that I was going to start to remove the topic of weight/lack of exercise/etc. from this blog, but I'm putting it in here because my goal for this week is to try out a running group. I felt fine during the four miles so I've decided that I haven't completely lost my ability to hold my own. And, I've decided I'm okay with the fact I suck at running regularly without people. There may be a time in my life when that changes, but right now, it is as it is. In addition to those reasons, I was reading Claire's post about friends and I was inspired. Okay, okay, I don't actually know Claire. How I got to her blog is a bit of a long story that begins with how my sister and I like other people's lives. Long story short, Claire runs and Claire has friends. A couple of years ago, Claire also moved to a city where she had a boyfriend. The current situations of either of those two relationships are irrelevant. Claire, unlike Sara, make a conscious effort to make friends. I was so discouraged by my experiences during my first semester freshman year that I decided I wasn't going to "try" to make friends who may or may not just turn me down. Instead I'd be regular Sara day-to-day and hope for the best. And, things have turned out fairly well, but it's time to take some initiative! It's okay if this is not how I make my new friends, but I need to get out of the apartment. I spend most of my time here working on freelance projects. Besides, running is the only time in my life that I leave the house knowing I'm wearing the right shoes.

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