On Repeat

I've been social nearly all week. It makes it hard to get work done. Tonight?
One page magic sheets aka Lighting designer tetris and this man's pandora station:



Or just this song on repeat when I don't like the song on pandora.

bin/been

Not every plant is growing as tall as the one next to it and not all of the plants are doing well with my here & there trips out of town. But, all of my plants are awesome, beautiful, and bring a lot more happiness to my window sill than there once was.

Did I mention it's been nice out since I came back from Florida?

Amy & Nick's wedding is one week away. I'm pretty excited.


There's someone digging through our garbage bin for bottles and cans to cash in.

Just, ya know, being thankful

I'm a tabber. I usually only have one window up, maybe 2 if I want to focus on a specific project without the other tabs, but tabs range from 4-24. These days each tab is a potential new job. I'd like to work on some of these tabs tonight so I won't type long, but I have a lot to tell you. Alas, time is short, body is tired and bullet points show up:

-I learned to surf this past weekend! Kind of. I stood up a few times. I'm no expert, but I understand why people love it now.

-I ran today. I sent my broken phone back. I accomplished a task I've had on the to-do list since January. I judged a show down by Lafayette. It was a productive day.

-I love my family. I spent Easter weekend in Florida with my mom's side of the family because my Uncle's wedding occurred on Holy Saturday. I had an absolutely fabulous time. I don't know anyone else with a family as much fun as mine is. One night my immediate family + a fiance + a cousin went in the ocean sometime after midnight and battled the waves for what seemed like hours, or at least an hour.

-The bridal shower was at a restaurant on the ocean. It looked a little fake, but it was real.

-My mom made everyone [no, really, everyone] a delicious brunch Easter morning

-We all danced, and danced a lot at the wedding. My uncle and I even did a bit of swing dancing.

-My sister and I ran 2 out of the 3 days. One of those days was a 6 miler in the upper 80s, lower 90s + humidity.... the morning after a lot of salt water & alcohol. Woo dehydration! I've ran 2 out of the 3 days since I've been home.

-I called about one of my resumes and cover letters today. I'd really, really love this job. The HR department's machine picked up and I was too scared to leave a message.

-Last night Lindsay and I went down to DUMBO to see a friend of mine's friend's show, but alas I made the classic Monday this week, Tuesday next week mistake and there was no show. Instead we wandered a little bit. A seemingly nerdier-hipsterish-our-size marching band came out of a building and played in an empty parking lot. We then got recruited for a comedy show that was actually free, no drink minimum, no tips... just fairly decent comedy.

-I'm unbelievably excited for my sister's wedding in September. I'm also trying to figure out how we're ever going to go get to talk to/see all of those people who will be there. Our family alone has so many amazing people connected to it: "The Moms," both sides of our family, the card group, the Port Clinton friends, etc. etc.

-I'm planning for the days surrounding Amy & Nick's wedding in 2 weekends. So far I'm trying to fit in: Cinco de Mayo with Mike, Jeni, Jenkins +/- whomever else shows up, a run with Jessica, possibly wedding-food tasting for the September wedding, a small roadtrip across Michigan, back, across, and back again, a WEDDING, dancing with the newlyweds, Jackie, Faith & Meghan, a sleepover in a cabin... in the woods... in our sleeping bags!, a stopover in Holland, quality time with Tim, good conversations with Lissa, and probably a little bit of time with my parents... or at least my dad when he drives me back to Pittsburgh to get back on the Megabus.


Enough enthusiasm for the past/present/future, back to that cover letter...

Give thanks and rejoice

Last year for Lent I wrote a list of things I was thankful for every day. I didn't do that this Lent. It might've helped my frame of mind as I dealt with some especially undesirable stress, but I didn't. However I enjoyed it and throughout the rest of the church calendar year, and again through this year I feel as though my mind is more and more likely to note the things I'm grateful for. Since I won't have time to do it this weekend, here's this year's all-at-once Lenten List of Thankfulness

Thank you to...
Housemates that deal with my quirkiness
Friends that ask for advice, especially the relationship[ish] kind
Sally. One solid good friend* really cuts down a lot of things you can complain about... and gives you someone to complain about the rest to
*Note: I have other friends, but if you live with the people they're semi-exempt because you can't let yourself overuse them and I'm talking short-distance friendships
Everyone else who came to our party. I had an absolutely wonderful time. I would've had a great time even if it'd been just the 3 of us + sally, but taboo and conversation was just...sigh, thank you.
Friends who let me sleep in their beds or on their couches, often with only 2 days advance notice
Touchy-feely-at-appropriate times people. Sometimes you just need a hug +/- and New York isn't a warm fuzzy city so it's great when you can find those people
The optimists
The Awake! who serve as reminders that I have good energy and I should do nothing less than love and radiate the good stuff
My mom who'll still order my prescription if I'm getting too stressed about it
My dad who'll make sure the car's ready for me to drive to wherever or whatever thing it is I need to make visiting other people possible
My long-distance housemates. I'm still so grateful for that last semester of college and you still having you all in my life
Amy & Nick. 2 people in love is a fabulous thing
Kathryn, for making me feel as though people do want to hang out with me!
Everyone who has ever made an effort to hang out with someone else. It's a reminder that "people can like you just the way you are" and sometimes we 20somethings need those
Old text messages that you reread on your old cell phone that still give you new warm fuzzies
My sister who comes to visit and doesn't get frustrated with me when I'm a little bit of a mess
My brother who tolerates me and will pay for most of the present when I'm too poor
The cell phone gods who protected my phone from water damage
Helpful people. There are so many of you in the world and you're wonderful!
My Grandparents who answer the phone with such enthusiasm that you really feel like you matter
My family. I can't wait to see a bunch of them in the next 2 weeks
All of those people who keep emotionally supporting me and are excited that I'm "fulfilling my dream" or whatever phrase they chose to use. I'm not sure if they're completely right, but they do make me feel good about my choices. Thank you!
FB msg pen pals <3 This blog for reminding me that there are superheroes among us... and really good parents that are my own
Isaac for encouraging me to go to church. And then for going to brunch with me afterward and reknewing my faith in theatre... all of the time
American Theatre magazine for reminding me that Boal technique is thriving and purposeful.
People who read my blog so my little counter can lead me to believe that people are interested in my life
Idealist.org for posting meaningful job openings
My plants, for growing sometimes.

Okay, I know that's a weird one to end on, but it just hit me. I'm tired. Thank you for reading. Thanks for being such great people and thank you for being.

Pink

I know I'm only five years out of high school so it sounds a little ridiculous me saying this, but stuff like this is just one more reason why I don't think our world is doomed and why I want to work with high schoolers and/ or junior highers at some point. Um, let the video load and skip to the part where you see the baseball players. Jokes and transitions on SNL vary in quality. Don't let this be your make or breaker for the respect tally. Anyways, the point is, we care. We as people, as young people, as grown ups, as senior citizens, we care about each other. And, when we can do nothing else we just do whatever we can think of to show we care. And that's what these high school boys did. They made the decision to put pink tape on them and if all it did was add color to their wardrobe, cause conversations with the refs, and bring warm fuzzies to a few people... well, I'd say it was worth it. You can never have too many warm fuzzies.

I don't iron

Confession: I love packing last minute.

When I pack too soon, which I often did in college whenever we were nearing a break, I get too excited and by the time I go to leave it doesn't feel like I an adventure. The thrill's sort of faded. But, not this time! I've been sort of counting down, but since I was planning for 2+ weddings at once, it kept the count confusing. I'm leaving for my Uncle's wedding in Florida TOMORROW. I don't leave til night, but it's tomorrow so why get specific?

I'm incredibly excited for the adventure out of town and the warm weather! I'm also incredibly excited to see my fabulous family. My mom's brother is the one getting married. I love both sides of my family equally, but growing up I didn't get to see these aunts and uncles as often so it always feels like an extravaganza. It's usually treated like one too. Both of my parents really lucked out with siblings-in-law [and parents, but that's another post]. It's just going to be fun and I know it. I don't have to worry about their being "family drama" or "party poopers" or... really I'm the most dramatic out of the group. I know, you're not surprised, but I wouldn't hold a candle to the craziness in a lot of families. Well, we're crazy, but we're the good crazy... like college.

Minus my toothbrush and stuff for the plane, I'm packed. This means I'll still do a little *extra last minute* since I don't have to leave my house until 5 tomorrow. But, I had a weird moment while I was packing the main bag. I was rolling up my clothes [they fit best that way] with the exception of my dress, which I neatly patted down on the bottom and I realized despite my patting my clothes were going to be wrinkly when I got to Florida. This never really bothered me before because I don't like to iron. I always iron in the wrinkles and creases so I chose [because you can] to enjoy the wrinkle look [it's in, I promise]. As the suitcase filled up I realized I had extra space. I always wear one pair of shoes, tie my running shoes to the top and usually I still fill the space, but I'm going where it's warm so the clothes are smaller. So, I did added my steamer. Yup, my mom got me a travel steamer, which I asked for, for Christmas and I packed it. I'm not going to be wrinkly; I'm an adult.

Tangential, but speaking of wrinkly... bulldogs. Sally loves bulldogs and wants to get one. I think they're ridiculous looking and could never get one because I couldn't take it seriously. Love them, but not for me. Oh wrinklies <3

rip original droid

My phone died. I thought it was from running in the rain, but there was no water damage (yessss!). I had insurance on it, but it still would've cost 70 or 80-something. Instead I just have to wait 2 days and a new phone will be mailed to me. I'd like it to get here before I leave for the wedding in 2 days, but if it doesn't, I'm okay with being a little disconnected. I have a phone with me that I can get texts on and I'm excited for the disconnect from email!

While I'm droidless, I have my old phone, which became my old phone because people can't hear me when I talk to them on it. Since it still rings, it'll let me know if any potential employers call and since it texts I can still find people in the airport. And, by people I mean my brother.

Returning to the old phone is strange for a few reasons:

1. The keyboard. The keys are spaced out a little funny and the comma, space bar, apostrophe, and a few other key punctuation marks are in drastically different spots. My thumbs are confused.

2. Old text messages. The droid only allowed me to hold about 55 text messages at at a time, but that didn't stop me from saving 54. I like other people's words. Most of the saved texts were either really recent at the time, good advice, interesting, or just brought me happiness. I'm going to delete a good portion of them now, but let me share some of the happiness with you. Maybe you'll find yours! I'll try to keep spelling, capitalization, and punctuation accurate. Also, don't be afraid to send a text now because I'm going to post it. I won't <3 Besides, these are ones of honor. They're words that I appreciated at the time and still appreciate now.

"That's what spanish to english dictionaries online are for silly girl. I'm teaching you! You're welcome :-p"

"Boo. Pull a [ ] and make some up! You can put a light anywhere! Strip lights are fun. Unless they are multipars. Those things are awful noone should have to [ ]"
[ ] name left out to protect the innocent/genius.

"Always have enough to fly around the world on a moments notice. You don't need to do it but it's liberating to know you can"

"Hung over as fuck but ill survive. Do you know how i got home cuz i sure dont remember"

"I understand that. I hate being sad without a reason because then you feel like it's your fault and you don't even know how to fix it"

"haha. i'll pick you up! i know a beautiful little vegan place near the airport!"

"i dont know if [ ] gave you my number but if we are goin to be besties youll need it. thanks already for being such a great friend to [ ]"
[ ] Name left out to protect the innocent

"Just like i remember it: the cheap beer flows in fountains"

"Yeah. I spent Xmas with Jess and Beth. It was the best Xmas Ive ever had. :) How r u?"

"Like like like. Hold hands like. Snowball fight like. Make you hot cocoa with big marshmallows afterwards like"

"I suggest a tattoo on the left forearm, in wingdings. Keep me in the loop as to when you make it out here!"

"Then it's up to you to make trouble"

"Breathe. Relax. This is not anything to worry about. Breathe."

"So if i was in times square how close would that be to you?"

"I hope so too, this much stress makes me need a mr Rogers song telling me it'll be ok"

"This is the day that the lord has made! Let us rejoyce, and haul our butts into church"

"Oh and my neighbor will have this daughter that will show my son how fun it is to dance in the rain. =)"

"Yeah made me remember how great you were and i think i understand my feelings more now"

"Yes and i dont know even if im an asshole alot of times you are wonderful and im sorry for everything"

"Hah. I'll try my best. I just miss my freshman year with you guys :(..."

Loaf.

I forgot to tell you! I also made this recipe for Banana Muffins with Kahlua and Chocolate Chunks from one of my favorite blogs. Except I used splenda instead of sugar to reduce the real sugar content. However I increased it by not measuring the chocolate I put in and just crushing up 3 1/4 Dove Dark Chocolate bars. I'll let you guess what happened to the other 3/4.  I also left out walnuts because I didn't have them, they're expensive, and we didn't really need them.  Oh! And instead of making muffins, I made it in a loaf pan.  So we had banana bread with Kahlua and Chocolate Chunks. Happiness!

ps. We don't have any left.

pps. But you should still come over for our party gathering tomorrow! I want all these fabulous people I know to come over, but I don't invite more people personally because I'm avoiding the awkwardness of being turned down. Jr. High like, riiiight?

ppps. My roommates both think "loaf" is a hilarious word. Is it?

Pineapple Fried Rice [ish]

Welcome to Sara's Wonderful World of Incomplete Recipes! 

(a regular occurrence when I've spent the time in the day post-shower, which I actually took at 10am today, in boy shorts and an old running t-shirt, and have finally decided to make something with more ingredients than oatmeal, but have come to find out I don't have all the ingredients,
and refuse to get dressed to go to the store or change my dinner plans. Run on fragment? Probably.
Oh! But it does usually involve one song you can dance to on repeat for as long as it takes me to make dinner. Cue tonight's song... "Bulletproof"


Last weekend I decided I would make chicken and rice for dinner.    By the way, this blog entry is the longest way possible to tell you what I had for dinner tonight.  This may not be the best way to spend your time, but if you're interested... read on.    I had frozen chicken breast and a delicious new sauce I'd bought the day before.  However, when I bought this rice back in September I had accidentally bought regular rice instead of instant.  Given the amount of time between my body telling me it could be hungry and me becoming an intolerant bad word, the cooking time of the rice resulted in it never being an option for dinner.   It'd been so long since I'd made the rice that I had forgotten why it'd been sitting idle. So, I heated up some water, threw the rice in and then read the directions. What?! 45-50 minutes.  My chicken had already been in for 5 and wouldn't take more than 20 [already an eternity when you're only cooking for your own hungry self].  But, alas, I'd put all the rice in so there it was to stay.  When it was finally finished over an hour later I'd offered it to my roommates and their friends, who were eating sushi, but, there was still a tubberware container left;  I had no idea rice grew exponentially when it was cooked... forget fish and loaves, I'll bet it was rice.  I put it in the back of my mind and the back of my fridge and went on with life. 

A couple of nights ago, with 10 minutes before I had to leave I decided I wanted to make pineapple fried rice. My roommate nicely discouraged me from such an endeavor as it would take too long and I'd be late.  I heeded her wisdom. 

After waking up from a dinnertime nap I decided tonight was the night! I hadn't looked at the recipe yet, but I had rice, eggs, pineapple, and soy sauce. What else could you possibly need? 

Anyone who has made pineapple fried rice is shaking their head at me.  Depending what recipe you picked in your plethora of google results, the ingredient list may have looked something like this: 

• 1 cup pineapple tidbits (fresh is better, but canned works too)
• 4 cups cooked rice, preferably at least 1 day old
• 4 Tbsp oil for stir-frying
• 2 shallots, thinly sliced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 red or green chili (de-seeded if milder rice is desired)
• 1/2 cup roasted unsalted cashews
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1 egg, beaten (omit if vegan)
• 1/4 cup currants (or raisins)
• 3 Tbsp. chicken or vegetable stock
• 3 Tbsp. fish sauce (or substitute 3+ 1/2 Tbsp. soy sauce if vegetarian)
• 2 tsp. curry powder
• 1 tsp. sugar
• 3 spring onions, finely sliced
• 1/3 cup fresh coriander
• Prawns, Chicken, or tofu (optional) 

http://thaifood.about.com/od/thairecipesstepbystep/ss/pineapplerice.htm

I regoogled pineapple fried rice adding "simple" in front of it and Everyday Vegetarian Recipes helped me a little bit.  Note: A guy I worked with earlier this year told me that fish sauce is what really makes your pineapple fried rice taste authentic. But, I wasn't going for authenticity. I had two goals: Full tummy. Happy tastebuds. Not necessarily in that order. 

I realize that most of the ingredients above aren't that rare, but I've been terrible about keeping veggie around. I borrowed some of my roommates' onion and mixed together the following ingredients:

• Canned pineapple tidbits. It was a 20 oz can so I just put some in so it looked like there'd be some in most bites... maybe 8 oz like originally instructed?
• All the left over rice
• Enough olive oil to cook the onions and garlic
• Some onions. I cut until my eyes started to water and my sinuses were acting up so that wasn't long
• 3 cloves garlic! Yes! One thing right!
• Chili powder. That's close, right?
• 2 eggs
• Handfuls of raisins. Nom nom nom
• 3 Tbsp. chicken stock [ish]. No really, I had some of this!
• 2 packets of soy sauce leftover from the Chinese restaurant. Thanks Lindsay & Cam!
• Salt & Pepper

*Spoiler alert* Before you go using my recipe let me warn you: I get to call this pineapple fried rice because both of those things were involved. This results in the type of dish that you have to blindfold your picky eaters for.  It only tastes a little like what you might have in a restaurant, but it is delicious.

Step 1. Unbury the wok.

My parents let me take one of the woks with me when I moved to NYC. Every time I find an excuse to cook with it I get excited, but you could do this in a large frying pan.

Step 2. Heat the oil in the wok/pan.  Add the garlic, onions and chili powder.  And maybe even some Cumin powder since it's the right color, but you can't find enough uses for it.
Step 3. Beat the eggs separately why that's cooking. Add the egg, but don't let it get omlet-y before adding the rice and mixing.  Stir 'til it's mixed.
Step 4. Add the chicken broth and soy sauce. Add pineapple and raisins.
Step 5. Nom nom nom... nom nom nom... nom nom...
Step 6. Blog.

Surely Tums Will Help

Laying here, in my apartment in New York I had a flashback to the night before I came home from college, at the end of my first year. I laid on the floor of my dorm in Kollen Hall and waited for my friend to call me and tell me where the end of the year track party was.  She never called and eventually I just accepted that I was spending my last night alone.  We were both insecure and so I understood her fear of inviting someone to a place she was probably already having difficulty feeling a part of.  Looking back on it, we were silly, but at the time it seemed to matter.  I spent the rest of the night walking around, trying to soak in the campus. It was late April, early May. The grass was this rich grass green, and it has rained recently and so it felt like a real spring.  I don't remember being hot or cold, but simply craving.  I was craving to be in love with the world as I once had been.  I know this because I wrote it down.  I was also a little afraid to go home.  I didn't have a job lined up and I'm pretty sure I already knew I was about to get broken up with.  It wasn't for another month, but I knew it was coming.  Having a broken heart doesn't just keep you from falling in love with another boy, but keeps you from falling in love with the world.

I healed. It took a long time, but I healed.

Earlier I was talking with a friend about these guys in our lives.  We do this quite a bit.  It's fun... usually.  Often I try to help her work through thoughts about her love life and the questions I ask her to answer, I ask myself. It's good for growth.  It's nice to have friends like this.  I was telling her how something incredibly [seemingly] insignificant made me cry last night.  And I talked about falling.  Sometimes, by the time a relationship ends, that first part, the part when everything is new and exciting, if a little intimidating, falls away.  But, since this all happened at such an important time in my life, I can bring it to the front of my mind, like I imagine he does in the The Giver... so much so that if I had that power, someone else could feel it too.  I don't normally record those feelings in public domain.  It's dangerous. You never know who'll read them or misinterpret them. But, why is that enough to stop me?  I want to remember what that feels like.  It's awesome. It doesn't have to necessarily be falling in love, but the realization that you and someone else both think the other is great!  It's exciting and depending on who you are, it may cause you to act incredibly silly.  That's typically me.  Then again, a lot of things bring out my silly side.  My brother knew something up was up when I got in the car.  I seriously spent the entire spring break, and a good amount of time after I returned to school, high as a fucking kite, sans drugs.  I couldn't stop smiling and my insides felt like they were constantly injected with energy.  When I think about that too much I want nothing more than to fall in love again just so I have someone new to associate it with, who reciprocates it.

That's essentially verbatim to what I told my friend.  I then followed it up with a retraction because I have jobs to apply for.  I can't take risks with my heart right now.  A broken heart keeps me in bed longer than the flu.

But, it's still sort of fun to remember... remember having your heart jump when the phone rings and trying to not talk your friends' ears off about thing that seem so mundane to them. 

I was going to give you more detail and then I realized... a have a silver notebook.   And sometimes we don't share details with the world... or even good friends, not because we're scared, but because they're too sacred.  I think those words often get confused. 

As I told Jessica... "Goodnight! I love you! And make good choices... you know, ones that make you happy when you wake up"

I'm really grateful for my good friends. 

And that You Meant It

"Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past" 



Sometimes I search for my own words in those of others.

"Evidentally I Don't Experience Things As Rationally As You Do," but "G*d damn it felt amazing the days you were happy to see me". So, here it is.  "It's an apology letter to the both of us for how long it took me to let things go. It was not my intention to make such a production of the emptiness between us"

Getting my rent's worth

I am restless, pressured by sinuses and staying awake to shake with slam poets on youtube.  I prefer to write on paper these days, but my words don't seem to read in notebooks either.  I am restless.

Law School

Producer's Perspective April 1, 2011

The blogs don't necessarily blow my mind every post, but I appreciate the quick read on the train and useful bits of information that help me get a better idea of the industry in the city I'm currently in.  Yesterday's blog provided a much needed reminder.