Tuesday, April 14, 2009

For the Record: It happens even here.

So today I had my performance final. It didn't go so well. I got nervous, forgot my lines and then got upset about it. All the no-nos... and to think, I went the entire semester without once getting upset in class and then now, on the last day, the day of the final.


Not to mention I started to get panicky. Blah. I think it was especially frustrating because it's been awhile since I felt that way and I thought I kinda "had it beat," if you will.

I'm not typing about it to go on and on about it, but to simply acknowledge it.
I was so worried that going home would cause me to resort to this and I was doubting our scene... and well, then it happened. Sure, lots of things probably played into it, but all that matters is that it happened. I felt a certain way and didn't deal with it in the best way. Okay. Next time? Well, I have no intentions of taking another performance class so it will never be quiiiite the same circumstances. But, all the same, breathe early enough to not get there and try your best to remember how fortunate, confident and loved you are. You are fine. You will be and no matter what, it's not the end of the world. If it is, well you should probably say a prayer and have a bit more fun with it :)

I came back, took a nap and am now feeling better. I received noticed about another summer position I applied for being already filled... It happens, I just guess I won't be working for the circus this summer. Bristol and I went to Londis to get water and sweets and then came back and talked a bit with Sarah (Mama) a bit. I killed some time down the hall and now I have intentions of being productive.

Wish me the best.
All else is well.

Love to you <3

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