Friday, January 8, 2010

There's really no good time for anyone to leave

My room hasn't been this empty since the summer before third grade when my sister and I moved into it. The bed frame that replaced hers in now in the car, accompanied by my mattresses, ready to go to Holland in the morning. My cat must know I am leaving because she has been spending even more time with me than usual. Looking at my room and knowing that it has been 8 years since I was a freshman in high school... or since I played soccer or since... well, I don't know. It just shakes me a bit.

I don't like endings. Leaving London, the Czech, and New York were all difficult. However, graduation from college is bigger ending than all of those. It is bigger than graduating high school. I have no idea what comes next and the probability of my returning to most of the places I have been is slim.

I like learning because I am that much closer to my battle with the unknown. It's times like these that lead me to believe that I am fighting in vain. Of course, as soon as I imagine giving up I remember that I'd rather walk near-sightedly with my eyes open than to close them altogether. And so, as long as the weather cooperates, I am off to Holland in morning. Let's hope for dry roads and an easy adjustment.

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