Friday, August 22, 2008

Where I am is here.

I have toyed with the idea of writing a blog readable to my college friends for awhile now. Anyone who has known me for any length of times knows that I have been blogging for years. I have over 300 pages of entries removed from the internet, along with one unknown blog and 3 years worth of entries on a myspace page. This is in addition to journaling in notebook which is where more emotional rants take place. The myspace page is typically kept up-to-date with tid-bits of Sara. These entries may be posted on there as well, if for no other reason than I love to have so many entries in one location.

The idea of Junior year is one of my favorites. It's before the ending so there's still time to enjoy your self before over-preparing to the leave the safety of your current state. Yet, it's also after the excitement of meeting all new people and exploring all new places. There is still exploration to be done and friends to be made, but it's of a different sorts. If I didn't explore and I didn't meet people, I would still have places to be and people to hang out with. It's simply the lack of adventure that would create that keeps me from choosing this route. However, it's a little late to find new activities: especially if I'm going abroad in the spring. This is a bit discouraging. There were so many other things I might've enjoyed that I never made the time for.

I am thrilled for the start of my junior year. I am taking my first management course (although my second to last class for my minor), Lighting Design, Directing 1, the History of Social and Folk Dance and The Planet Earth. I am truly hoping I have an interesting instructor for The Planet Earth. If we take an approach that encourages action rather than 8th grade science, "The Planet Earth" could potentially be worth my time. Let's hope for the best. I am so excited for Lighting Design and Directing 1 that it makes me a little nervous. To me these are "real theatre major" classes and this makes me a real theatre major. Given, I am declared, and that's what makes me a real theatre major, but until you have the knowledge, the piece of paper the registrar has does not mean much.

The discouraging part of a new year means that a past year must've come to an end. I am missing my friends. I have friends abroad (particularly runners) and two whom transfered and a bunch more who did that thing many people do after four years... graduated (*cough*Lydia*cough*Schae*cough*Jill*cough... you get the idea). Of course, there are new people to meet and I am loving the ones who I've begun to know already. There are almost as many new girls on the XC team as there are returning runners. As strange as this is, I am loving it. Everyone seems to be meshing very well. I need to make sure I continue to make an effort to get to know the girls better as school begins, but we have a great base. Camp was wonderful. It seemed really short this year (with the exception of nights in which I had odd difficulty sleeping). We played battleship, cards, mafia and Roshambo (sp?) as usual. This year I actually went putt-putting, but I wasn't very good, haha. Jo and I shared delicious, but slightly complicated ice cream afterwards. It combined kitchen sink, superman and some sort of brownie ice cream into a waffle cone of taste bud glory. In other news, we spent time at the beach and now I finally have some sun on my skin. I might see if some people want to go to the beach tomorrow to try and continue this crazy thing called not-so-pasty-skin. The best parts of camp were:
  • Having some quality runs on trails
  • Feeling like an upper classman: People asked me things; I knew them.
  • Feeling comfortable with other people on the team-- Even guys and girls I didn't really know yet... things just felt right.
I really feel like I'm in the right place right now. My freshman year I didn't always feel that way. My sophomore year the feeling was more regular, especially second semester, but now it's truly strong. It might not last, but that's okay. Right now feels right. The only place this isn't always the case is work. Yet, today was my first day and that might change. For some reason the start of the new year always leaves me out of sorts. I feel as if I didn't learn anything last year. I remember the basics from freshman year, but nothing that puts me above anyone who's been on the crew for more than 2 weeks. It's a bit discouraging... especially because I've been considering light for real. I'll get back to you on that one. I am reluctant to go too far into my frustrations, but that's alright... another time.


Random excerpt from a journal from this time in 2006:
"We may be enough, but this doesn't mean we're everything."

I remember what that meant to me at the time, but I'm not so sure what it means to me now. I think I still agree though.

8:30 practice in the morning.
Have a good night.

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