Wednesday, June 3, 2009

And I'm doing Okay.

I understand that my expectations of my life in Amherst have to be different than my expectations of my life have been for awhile. I will no longer hear drunks in the hall outside my door, but I will have a cat who, if she doesn't fall asleep in my room, sometimes even on my bed, will meow in the hall outside of my room until I wake up in the morning... just to say hello.

Two days ago I started doing some pilates and yoga stuff. It kinda killed me, but I did a little more yesterday, after my run. I ran a steady five miles yesterday, including 5 of the park hills and the long hill going up to the 5 points. I also ran on Saturday. If I could run tomorrow I'd have a little every-other-day thing going. That'd be a start...
I didn't really get out today, but it was my own fault. I hadn't prepared well for my first production meeting so I spent a lot of time on that this morning. Nothing I worked on was needed for the production meeting, but it will be needed on the 11th and I do need to get moving or else I might overstress on the 15th (day 1 of real rehearsal).

The production meeting went well. It was nice to see Abby and Corey again. It'll be interesting to work with Frank, the director because he pre-blocks most things. It's been awhile since I've worked with a director who does that. I have never been on the production side of a musical though so that will also be interesting! I have a good feeling about this and am excited for production to begin.

I am still day-jobless. I am going to make some phone calls tomorrow... let's hope for the best.

So I got in a proactive mood again tonight and made some phone calls. I am now hanging out with Amy (D) tomorrow and Melissa (D) on Thursday. I already had plans to see Christy (M) on Saturday and Jill (C) on Monday. I caught up with Trevor for a bit online, while talking on the phone to Melissa. It was great to catch up with both of them. I was going to stop over a friend's house this evening. I drove in her direction, but she didn't answer my phone calls. Instead I texted another friend who has called me a couple times recently, but he had to work at 6A (and it was around 11) so instead I went to Powers to swing by myself.

Anyone who has known me since high school on- knows about my love for swings. I especially like the swings at Powers because so many great conversations with good friends have occurred on them... Christy... Lizzy... Ian... Chris... Aaron... I just have a lot of good memories from these swings. I even spent some time on prom night on the swings... and I rang in 2007 on those swings. Well, I swung for a little bit. Then I decided that human beings are nothing like caterpillars and butterflies. I also realized that the trick isn't not needing people, but rather not needing people who don't treat you well. In a phone conversation earlier this evening I articulated that to a friend, but I don't think I understood the importance of what I said until I stood in the dark, talking to-- whomever... whatever. Sometimes the air is the best sound board you could ever dream up.

Yes, I think I understand now.
And I feel good.

Note Added Later: I think the reason I didn't understand before is because I wanted everyone in my life. It's not that I don't want this still... I just understand that you should spend your time on people who want your time spent on them...
This doesn't mean you should give up on a friend just because he or she is busy, it just means to keep your eyes and heart open... I think...

I still don't have it figured out. 20 years isn't that long to be working on this...

Back to original entry...

I think I also feel good because I finally created the facebook group I've been thinking about for the last couple of days. Amy helped me come up with the name for it. MJ Moluse: Too Pretty to Retire. We invited a whole bunch of people and I will write the names of all the people who accepted the group invite on either a giant thank you card or a bunch of small thank you cards (I haven't quite decided yet). In just 3 hours 40 people have joined. What did I expect? That woman is amazing!

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