Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Balance in the toolbox, not in the heart

Approximately 94% of the time I blog for myself.

Along with blogging, I journal. They're both therapeutic in their own way.

Blogging gives room for affirmation from others. Your tally counter (and now stats tab) suggests that there is someone out there who believes your thoughts are valuable... or at least they were directed to your page for some reason or another... The comment button even allows the person to articulate that. I do not receive many comments, but I assume it is less personal and more a result of nothing to say.

Blogging creates a wonderful archive of one's selves. While my journals reflect a slightly different collection of selves, Blogger is more organized than my various journals and small notebooks that hang out in my bags for things that are jotted, rather than written. I often go back through my blogs and reread what I wrote before. Sometimes I shake my head at myself, but often, I am reading because I am searching for encouragement from my previous being. Hey! Look! It got better! Hey! You really were happy... you didn't just remember it selectively.

While skimming over a blog or two from the past year and a half, I think that these recent... "less desirable emotions" make sense. If the world is supposed to stay balanced, they had to happen sometime.

My life is so filled with blessings:
Cooking for my mom
Friend Time and Perspective Last Fall
That time we spontaneously went camping!
And Countdowns!

I suppose those are just a few non-related examples. The moral of the story is that sometimes life will not only seem, but BE less than awesome. It's okay, it's just part of that balance. I could be wrong, but I think Something deemed in necessary some how. Oh Infinite, how you do tend to exhaust me.

In case you were wondering, this blog falls into that written-more-for-me-than-you section.

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