- In the last 3 days 5-1o different people have asked me where things were. Apparently when walking around in London I now appear knowledgeable, assured and approachable.
- I spent my first night not in the dorm in London last night. I slept at Molly and Charlotte's. It was wonderful to wake up somewhere new... especially with the bagel store down the street. I bought the four of us breakfast.
- Messages from Tealla. Tealla is not the only person whom I receive messages from which bring me joy, but I have managed to laugh out loud while reading every single one she's sent. I love reading about her life.
- Heather's blog. Heather is my sister's best friend from high school and I understand why. I have always known why, but her blogs are common reminders which I am blessed to be able to experience as well.
- My family. I talked to my sister and my parents on the phone today. It was the best 4.40 I've spent in weeks.
- The guy from the bar I went to go listen to people's speech patterns sent me a text message back on Friday. The idea of a potential friendship makes me happy. Potential may mean nothing to Neitzche, but we're only sometimes on the same page.
- The fact that on the questionnaire I had to stop myself from listing too many things on the things I am looking forward to list... because there are so many wonderful things in the future.
- Ran one day, but twice on that one day- totaling to 90 minutes... including a workout.
- Gone grocery shopping at the cheap place and found good deals
- Done Laundry
- Visited the National Gallery and remembered my love for impressionists
- Bought an Avenue Q ticket for my sister's visit in March!!
- Played a game called Loaded Questions with some people in my program
- Stayed up way too late on multiple occasions
- Went to a bar made of ice
- Gotten into a strong fight
- Had one of my favorite Tuesdays yet
- Interned twice
- Saw a wonderful circus/dance called Traces at the Peacock Theatre
- Talked to more strangers than you have probably talked to all semester
- Saw Pitman Painters at the National Theatre
- Gone on a tour of the National Theatre and been terribly envious
- Discovered where the Poor School (where we have our rehearsals) was
- Used a telephone booth and been stared at by strange boys because of the gross porn pictures inside the telephone booths
- Talked to plenty of good friends
- Fell asleep in my Thursday class and then again on the tube ride and the bus ride home from class... until I returned to the dorm and slept until it was past time to leave for the theatre
- Go to a coffee shop in SoHo
- Go to a night club called Koko and danced for a tiny bit, but mostly watched lights
- Invited a friend out
- Explored a bookstore
- Got my hair cut
- Went to Brick Lane markets
- Ate a lot of bagels, croissants and chocolate.
Confessions:
- Earlier today I was thinking of things that could make my eating habits better and/or cheaper. I considered cutting out chocolate and realized that was unrealistic. Then I decided I could cut out the carbs. I then remembered about the dozen bagels I just bought... four of which I ate today... and realized I needed a new body plan. I'll reevaluate next week
- I sing along to songs I don't know the words to
- I told my mini-feed that I wanted to know less about you. It was unexpectedly more therapeutic then telling you how I felt.
- Sometimes I write passive aggressive away messages in code
- Sometimes I know the exact words I need to hear, but know that if I have to tell you they don't mean anything and thus they won't accomplish their purpose. This would make them worthless and why waste potentially magical words.
- Today I had a discussion with a boy and I told him he was a bad word. I meant it. This doesn't happen often. Usually I regret saying things like that. This time I don't. I regret not regretting it.
- I wish he would realize how much he's hurt me and apologize.
- It makes me sad that he's hurt someone else in the program even more
- I have a lot of things to be happy about here. I am just mentioning the above because I need to get it out. There is so many other wonderful things happening here.
- I am blessed with a wonderful family that supports me.
- Today I talked with my Grandpa and Uncle who live in Florida on skype. I didn't know what all to tell them, and I think the connection wasn't the best, making it hard to hear. It was my first time seeing them since the fall. I kind of wish they had just left it on for awhile so we could've been in the same place for a bit longer.
- Sometimes I become enormously sad about things I cannot control. I try to let them be big things so that I don't feel so overemotional.
- I don't like messy kitchens. This is mostly because I don't like fruitflies and because I don't like having to wash dishes before I can use them if someone else used them first. I don't feel like they're all the way clean.
I want to
- Stop finding faults with myself.
- I am not perfect. I want to fix these things, but sometimes I spend so much time trying to fix these things that are wrong with me that I forget to enjoy the things that aren't wrong with me.
- I know there is a middle ground called self-acceptance with a side of self-improvement, but I can't seem to find it.
- Be more reassuring of myself
- Specifically at places of work.
- I am most confident with people I don't know who I will only see again if we both truly want to.
- And others
- Yeah
- Run more often
- Procrastinate less
- Be Honest... with others, but mostly with myself.
And that's about it for now. Perhaps now I will be able to focus on my assignments for a bit... <3
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