Saturday, August 22, 2009

"Don't you think that now's a good time to be the ambitious freak you are?"

I've started to get sad lately. It is a mix of things. It is lack of communication, or lack of reciprocal communication, from a couple of people that are important to me. It is needing more. It is missing my friends.

During my semester in London I befriend Bristol who lived down the hall and my roommate Sarah [among other people]. While there are surely more, two things that these wonderful ladies had in common were their excellent musical playlists and the fact that both of them had spent that fall abroad as well as the spring. Bristol had been in Germany and Sarah had studied in France. Both expressed that their second semester, while still exciting, held a little less of that original "ahhhhh". They also felt less of a need to be crazy. The second semesters were also more difficult because they were another semester away from their on-campus and/or at-home friends. One was more home-sick than the other, but they both were still ready to go home by the end. In New York I doubt I will get homesick as I am still in the US and not very far from Ohio. However, I am sad I am not running cross country this Fall. By tomorrow evening all the runners should be on campus. I want to be with them. The next day they will leave for camp- something I have only experienced twice with them. It's simply not enough. I miss running workouts. I miss the orange and blue school bus. I miss the spark the boys add to the mix. I miss... a lot. I'm going to have to get a reasonable idea of my schedule in New York and try and find a race or two. It should help. I can't go the entire semester without racing. I've only raced twice this year. It's simply not enough.

I think the difference between missing on-campus friends and everyone else in the world is that the on-campus friends have an expiration date. In less than a year I will no longer be a student, but rather an alumni. And even if the friends are still on-campus friends, I won't be [an on-campus- or even off-campus friend]
The Yellow House had an expiration date. The house is still there, and apparently has been redone, but the amazing get-togethers and delicious dinners I ate there cannot be redone or extended. While my friends will still exist after I graduate, I can't go back and live with them or spend entire weekends doing focus-and-hangs in the theatre. I can't have a zillion conversations with the amazing cleaning woman in Dewitt because I'm still there studying and she's turning off all the lights. At some point I'm not going to get any more of those days. So I'm choosing some other types of days. I think I am making a good choice, but I still want all of the days...

I am excited for the adventures ahead of me.

ps. I love "The Last Five Years". You should too.

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