Friday, December 19, 2008

Seven Years Ago

The first time you return from college your freshman year is mind-boggling. Everything feels so strange (or doesn't, and you're confused because you thought it was supposed to). You want to see everything and everyone just to make sure they're real... and to see if they notice the change. You've changed... or you think you've changed. After all, you've met all these people and you have done these new things, perhaps even things you said you'd never do. As a 3rd year, I know I've changed, but I know it's often hard to see and if they can't, then to them I haven't and thus, it's settled. Anyways, that first year you go back to the high school to see your underclassmen friends and old teachers. I was always a bit reluctant about when to go, not wanting to bug them when they had lots of other things on the to-do list. As we grow we realize how long the teacher's to-do list almost always is. Well, over most breaks I return to the high school, but I go just to run. I walk into the school just as far as the first lobby, where the girls meet. I need running buddies to get me out the door, even if I know less than half of their names.
I went to run with the girls yesterday, but had to leave early to pick up my sister. The 15 minutes I ran hurt bad enough that I considered napping instead of running today. Yet, I talked to Jessica and changed my mind. I quickly put on my purple tights and long sleeve T's and met up with the ladies in the lobby for a run that would end up being longer than I planned, but wonderful in that I like talking with Jess. As I stood there I saw a couple of old runners (and by old, I mean veteran, but still younger than me) and Molnar walked up from the hallway. It's been awhile since we've seen each other! She had been talking to Mr. Haber. Now, I know I still look pretty similar to my high school self and Mr. Haber looked like himself, but it still felt like it'd been a long time. We quickly caught up. Well, I didn't hear much about him, but I told him about London. As soon as he walked away I wanted to ask about his daughters. They must be "real people size" now. He encouraged me to visit when I return from London. I think I might... mostly just to see pictures of his daughters. Sometimes seeing people's kids grow up is just a strange awakening of how old I am. I encourage it, but I am not sure if I like it. Sometimes it'll just hit me, if he/she is a seventh grader, that must mean I am not. And I know I am not a 7th grader, but sometimes I identify so well with my 7th grade (or other) self, that I need a reminder of just how far removed she is.

After Mr. Haber left I realized I really needed to at least say hi to Mrs. Moluse. After all, I she is my favorite teacher (Haber's probably a close second... along with Allis). The poem I referenced in the blog application, she shared that poem with me. There is also one by E.E. Cummings that I still need to re-find.... I asked where the girls were running to, planning on catching up with them after they started their run, and ran down the hall (with Molnar) to see if I could find Mrs. Moluse. Well, low and behold, she was in the atrium. She turned and saw me running, but I had to say her name twice. When she realized it was me she informed me she thought I was just one of the regular kids. Yeah, I blend in... even with a grown-up body in purple tights. We talked for a bit and I told her about London. It was so fun having someone be almost as excited as me. haha. So often at school everyone else has studied abroad or ever 3rd friend has or will be soon, so the excitement of it is gone. There's a slight possibility she might come out to London. My life would be made if we met up in London...

I saw Aaron wrestle on Sunday. He always makes me nervous. It's lame. I still love wrestling. I took pictures on Alexis's camera, but they're still on her camera.

Last night I went to the choir concert with my mom and we sat two rows behind some of my favorite people: Shannon, Clay, Clay's mom, Amy, Anne... you get the idea <3 When the alumni were on stage for madrigals and then concert choir, my heart was warm. They all sing so beautifully. It was wonderful to see so many people I knew and that mattered to me. Given, living in Michigan it is difficult to keep up with all of them... or sometimes any of them. Yet, I felt the need to say hi to every other person whose name I knew... something about them...
That choir concert always gets me :)

If nothing else, the point of this entry is that there is still something special about going back. People are sacred. The people who mattered to you so much while you were there will typically still warm your heart. They cared and they invested time and energy in you. I hope that I become something great so the accumulative investment is worthy and noticeable. Or perhaps it's not about that all. I'd venture to say that it is as simple as: I am blessed.

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