Do you ever find reminders of parts of yourself that you had forgotten?
The spring of my senior year I started dating this boy. We spent many dates in the rain and I remember one, I think our first one... pretty clearly. At one point we were back in his car, talking, and I decided that I needed to "sound my barbaric yawp". I jumped out of his Buick and did just that. It was early in the relationship and I felt the need to put all of myself out there... that way if there was anything he didn't like, he could leave early before it would hurt too bad. It was a good idea in theory.... and in practice, I guess. Well, I returned to the car and he asked what I had just done. I told him and-- well, that was that. We stayed together for quite a while longer.
My acting class is in a room in the very back of a small bookstore. A week and half ago when I was walking out of our first class I saw Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass" I almost bought it. However, I was hungry and had to be at another class in less than a half hour so I kept walking.
Last night a good friend of mine, the ex-boyfriend from the story above actually... changed his status to:
"I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world"
It has been awhile since I truly sounded my barbaric yawp (figuratively or literally). Perhaps this is part of me that has been missing. So, here I am in England. I'm bringing it back.
A group of my friends from my hall went to Wales this weekend so it was just my roommate and I on this part of the 6th floor. Friday night we went out and went dancing. It was a nice time. There's more to the evening's story, but not all needs to be divulged on the internet :)
Last night I thought my roommate had gone somewhere (she hadn't, she'd just be downstairs for a really long time) and so I felt the need to go out as well. Just as I found a place that was close enough to go to alone and that would have live bands so I could just sit and listen and not need to drink or dance to fit in, my roommate returned from downstairs. She was a little tired to go out, but we made sure we had each other's numbers and I brought my police alarm and I was ready to go. (Note on the police alarm: at orientation we were given these alarm things that you can attach one end to you and one end to your purse so if someone steals your purse it will disconnect and make a terrible noise. I thought it was a good thing to carry just to pull in case someone shady comes up to me. It makes it a wee-bit safer to go out). As I was leaving I held the elevator for a girl named Liz who lives down the hall. When she found out I was going out alone she invited me to her friend's 21st birthday party which was at a bar a couple of streets over. I went and when I felt uncomfortable I sat at the bar, pulled out my notebook and just started to make people-watching notes (which was my original plan for the other place I was going). As the night continued I met a couple people and the evening turned out well. I had lots of people notes, some good conversations and a rose made out of a napkin from the bartender.
Moral of the story: if you take precautions, it's okay to be brave and just go out to meet people and have conversation. My roommate knew what time to expect me home and I was only a couple of blocks from home. I had my phone open, ready to dial 999 and my alarm ready. I had a nice time with new people.
I am getting my yawp back.