Saturday, January 31, 2009

It's a... It's a... It's a... Let's play 4-square.

About a week or two ago I received a "facebook event request" to attend The Rose and the Rime with the Hope College theatre dept. and alumni. The event was announced in the theatre newsletter which I still receive while here in London. This evening I received an email from The House (I'm on their mailing list) about the production. As I was reading an entry written on The House blog by Brandon, a Hope graduate who acted in the original production, I became incredibly nostalgic. Rose and the Rime was one of the major affirmations of my career choice. The workshops pre-Rose and the community that continued to grow during the production cemented my belief that theatre is an art form worth investing in. I remember one particular day in the studio theatre: I was in the center and... to be honest, I can't even remember what we were doing exactly, but I can remember when the exercise was over feeling very empty and yet complete at the same time. There were so many days in the Herrick Room when I realized I was finally comfortable. I would leave the room and the reality of what I was going through relationship-wise in the Spring of 2007, would exist again. However, for those hours.. however long or short they may have been... for that time, I was who I wanted to be. It still took me awhile to figure out how to spend time with the people outside of the room (also known as how to make real friends), but in the mean time, something was right.
There were even times when I was not involved in the process and was able to feel what was. One day I was walking through Dewitt to peak into rehearsal. It was one of the days when they were working on Jimmy's song. Everyone had their instruments and Nathan was sharing some of the words. There was laughter and cheer, yet a focus that felt so pure... even from the hallway. Nights like that reaffirm my purpose. I have yet to figure out how to create that greatness, rather than just acknowledge it, but that feeling, that connection, that community... that is the goal.

I need to figure out how to articulate that in my cover letter...

I think I am jealous of The House. They are taking this production that, even though I didn't act in or design for, I was part of-- and was part of me even more... They're taking it and-- well that's all, it's theirs now. It goes like this, you know how sometimes you fall in love with someone and when the relationship ends you continue to be in love with the person you originally fell in love. Well it's like that, this play that was so much more than your usual relationship, has left me-- it was time, but still, it left... and now someone else gets to spend time with her/him/it. I am doing my best to trust that they are treating it well. Carolyn wrote this about the show and the theatre. It reminded me that in reality, the community is just expanding... and besides, The House came first. They expanded their community, which originated some where else and now it's expanding it back to them. They will reach new people with a world that I called my own. It's still my day at show-and-tell... someone else is just doing the showing and telling for me.

I love The House and I wish I could see their production and be part of their company, their community and the show, all over again.

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