Thursday, September 4, 2008

It rained all day; no one belongs here more than you.

Everything must belong somewhere. I know that now.

I love the rain. Midday my day wasn't going so well. I felt like I was supposed to be happy, but I just wasn't. I was uncomfortable. Lighting was alright and my run felt heavy, but gmaps told me I ran another 7 and a quarter. I was hoping for 7 so that's a good feeling. Plus I know the hills are making me strong. I love hills for that reason. Every time I run up one well I feel myself passing a girl in a race as she falls apart and I hold strong.
I ended the run soaked to the skin, but in that- I can take over the world sort of way.

Tonight, while making dinner I told Ru I wasn't a good representation of the typical American and she asked why. I laughed a lot and the only reason I could think of was because I'm loud (cause I got shhhh-ed by the rehearsal in the living room just then, haha). Seriously though, Ru's pretty cool.

I sat with Anna, Carris and Rachel and talked for awhile. A&C... such a cute couple :)

I went to see the Taylor 2 dance company and after the first part I saw Andrew, who is in my lighting class, talking to the kid in the row behind me. Then he came and sat next to me. I thought this was nice of him. It was also handy to compare observations (we were at the concert to look at the dance lighting). Things like this make make my day much better.

I rollerbladed home from Taylor 2 in the rain. This was funny to me because 12 hours before that I'd left my house for the first time to go to the Knick to help set up for Taylor 2 and it was raining. Both times I arrived at my destination with my jeans soaked. Both times I was also wearing my rollarblades, which kept my feet warm. As long as the puddles are not more than a couple inches your feet stay totally dry-- even if if you go directly through them. I love this idea because I love puddles.

The entry is in patches, but that just happens to be how I feel right now.

Sometimes I get excited about going to bed just because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Sometimes I want nothing less than I want to go to bed because it ends the potential for accomplishing, bettering or growing for today.

Often, I find it is best to just ignore days and pretend everything is and was and will be all at once. While this may sound a bit overwhelming (and sometimes it is), well, at least then you don't have to be so sad about missing things or nervous about things to come all the time. When I get to thinking, which is often, it's hard to not think about those things.
And sometimes, sometimes I like to just be.

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