Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Everything's Alright

"To be nobody, but yourself in a world which is doings its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." - ee cummings

If I were honest I'd tell you:

I'm tired.
I think manipulation is lame.
I wish I ran more.
I need to buy new running shoes.
I wish I could read minds; I spend too much time guessing how you feel.
I don't know how to intentionally cut people out of my life, but I wish I knew how. I wish I could even just stop myself from contacting them...
I have high expectations and believe in great amounts and next to nothing depending on where the sun is in the sky.
My left shin hurts when walking.
Most days I don't like t.v. and the way it interrupts me makes me passive aggressive.
I hate shoes.
Spring break feels too far away.
I don't like being cold.
I'm really uncertain about what I want to do with my life and am feeling too scared to apply anywhere. I didn't realize it was fear until today. I thought it was just lack of time. But in truth, I am tired of rejection and don't want to deal with any more. I'm approaching that point when I don't even want to try.

I'd rather be barefoot and camping living in a sense of enlightenment that I never have to come down from. . . and exhale.

I'm sorry. I won't feel this way later.

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